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Theory of Visibility
He’d gotten out of the habit when they were in Germany, sharing hotel rooms, living practically on top of each other. It just wasn’t a good idea then. Even when he had the single, they all shared keys and it was just as likely for Lynn to show up in the room looking for Justin as it was for Justin to show up hiding from Lynn. And neither of them would be happy with finding Chris traipsing around naked.
And on the bus, that was an even worse idea. So, whenever he could, Chris took advantage of a little privacy and shed all of his clothing and wandered around his house in the buff.
So maybe that was why, when he padded to the bathroom and he didn’t see anything in the mirror, that he didn’t freak out at first. Well, no, that wasn’t it. It wasn’t the lack of clothing that surprised him. It was the lack of anything.
He’d woken up invisible.
~*~
After staring in the mirror, the first thing he did was make sure he wasn’t dead. It was a legitimate concern. Maybe he was a ghost and had left his body back in the bed.
Thankfully, the bed was empty. After that reassurance, he started to wonder if he was hallucinating. Or maybe he was blind. But even when he rubbed his eyes, he could see the walls behind him. And after he went and found his glasses …quot; and that was fucking weird, seeing his glasses floating in the air towards his face …quot; everything else was clear, but he was still not there. His glasses were there. Hovering in the general vicinity of where his head normally was.
He wondered if his contacts would be noticeable, and scowled at himself …quot; well at his glasses in the mirror. He thought about trying to put his contacts in, and when he realized that he wasn’t even going to be able to see his fingers or his eyes in the mirror, he resigned himself to being half blind until whatever this was had worked itself out.
Remarkably calm, Chris climbed into the shower and watched the way the water bounced off him. It seemed as confused as he was.
~*~
Only Joey was anywhere nearby. JC was out touring or something. Justin was somewhere finishing up his movie, and Lance was somewhere in LA. Probably in front of a camera. And that left Joey.
Chris was a little nervous about going out in public, so he didn’t go to Joey’s. It wasn’t like he could drive; he’d get more attention then than when he went out normally. Plus, he was a little nervous about the whole naked thing.
Wearing clothes felt the same, but they *floated* and it weirded Chris out. So, he was naked and what if the invisibility wore off or was all in his head?
He was a little concerned that it was all in his head. He could call one of their private doctors and have them make a house call, but what if he was just crazy? One of his friends would be much more likely to call him on his shit instead of making him feel like a freak.
He didn’t know what had happened to *make* him invisible, so he wasn’t really sure what was going to make him visible again.
So he called Joey. Chris didn’t tell him on the phone. He just asked Joey to stop by when he could. No emergency, nothing to see. Nothing to see at all.
~*~
When Joey finally showed up, later that afternoon, Chris was well past confused and had moved on to scared. The doorbell rang and Chris answered it, but he wasn’t sure what to say or do next.
“Chris,” Joey called as he walked in. “Where are you and how did you get the door to open like that?”
“Um. Hi.” Chris was standing to the right of the door.
Joey turned back around. “Chris?”
“Yeah. I’m right here.” It was real then. It wasn’t just him. Joey couldn’t see him either. He bit his lip.
“Is this a prank? Did you get an intercom or something? Chris? What’s up?”
“I’m standing right here. I woke up and I was invisible.”
Joey looked around, suspiciously, his eyes narrowed. “Chris. Really.”
“It’s not a prank,” Chris whispered. He reached out and wrapped his fingers around Joey’s hand.
Joey jerked away and stared. “What the fuck?”
“Joe. I have no idea. I went to bed fine, but when I woke up, I was like this.” He couldn’t stop the desperate way his voice rose.
Joey reached out a tentative hand and brushed along Chris’ shoulder. “Um. Chris? You’re invisible.”
“I know. But, I don’t know why.” Joey’s hand didn’t leave Chris. It slid down his arm and then drifted to his chest.
A surprised look crossed Joey’s face. “Are you naked?”
“Duh, Joe. Otherwise, you could see my clothes.”
Joey snatched his hand back again. “What the fuck, Chris?”
“That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to figure out.”
Joey nodded. “This is pretty weird.”
Chris laughed. It was the first time all day. Joey grinned.
~*~
Joey was sitting at Chris’ computer clicking the mouse around. “I can’t seem to find any cases of sudden invisibility. And Lance thinks that this is one of our pranks and suggested we use a magic wand.”
“I can tell him what to do with a magic wand.”
Chris couldn’t see the monitor, because of his glasses and contact issues. Joey turned his head and he was so close that Chris almost ended up kissing him. He sat back hurriedly.
Joey smiled. “He said to quit smoking the wacky weed, too.”
“No pot here. I wasn’t even drinking yesterday.”
Joey nodded. “Me either. Of course, I don’t know if I would have believed you without seeing it… or um… rather, not seeing it for myself.”
“You suck. Lance sucks too,” Chris snorted.
“Sorry,” Joey shrugged. “But, come on. It does sound like one of your pranks. Something to get attention.”
“I’ve never done anything like this,” Chris whispered.
“I’m sorry, Chris.”
Joey turned back to the computer, not being able to see Chris’ nodding. He clicked on the reply button, to let Lance know where Chris thought he could put the magic wand.
~*~
“Aren’t you cold?”
Chris looked up. He was sitting at the kitchen table, reading a magazine. He’d gotten over the weirdness of having his glasses on and at least it gave Joey a point of reference. He was tired of Joey talking to a spot five inches above his head.
“Not really,” Chris answered. “Sometimes I don’t wear clothes around the house anyway.”
Joey gaped at him and then turned back to the stove.
Chris grinned. He was getting more used to the whole thing. Fun things he could do with his invisibility had begun to cross his mind. “So, if Lance doesn’t believe us and won’t come here, what do you say we go to LA?”
“You hate planes. And what if someone tried to sit on you or something because they didn’t see you?”
Chris laughed. “I could sit on your lap.”
“I don’t think so. You’re not wearing pants.”
Chris started giggling and couldn’t stop. Joey looked indignant. “I’m serious, Chris.”
Chris nodded and held up his hand, but realized that Joey couldn’t see it and laughed harder.
Joey finally grinned back. “This is pretty weird, Chris. Even for you. You should wear clothes though. It might make *me* feel better. Just knowing that you’re sitting there naked is freaking me out.”
When Chris could finally speak again he asked, “You’re saying that the weirdest thing about this is that I’m naked?”
Joey nodded. “If we were in high school, you could sneak into the girls’ locker room.”
“We could go to a gym, I guess. But I can see naked chicks anytime I want. ‘I’m Chris Kirkpatrick from *Nsync.’ Gets ‘em every time.”
Joey rolled his eyes. “It’d be fun to mess with JC or Justin. And fucking with Lance would be a blast. Too bad none of them are around,” he agreed.
Chris nodded sadly. “That’s why we should go there. We could get two tickets.”
“You would never be able to check in and they’d give your seat away or something.”
Chris hadn’t thought of that. “It’s first class, though. You can always get them to let you take two seats.”
“I can see the tabloids now. ‘Boybander takes up two seats. One for big head.’ I don’t think so, Kirkpatrick,” Joey chuckled.
“Oh, fuck off, Fatone. Help me think of something, then, rather than shooting down all my ideas.”
Joey looked thoughtful. “What about one of those big suitcases?”
“Fuck off.”
“No, I’m serious. We could buy a really big suitcase and…”
“There’s no way that I’m getting into a suitcase for a five hour flight,” Chris said with horror. “Think of something else.”
Joey sighed. “You think if we bought Lance’s ticket here, he’d believe us then?”
After the email Joey had sent to Lance telling Lance where to shove his wand, Lance had sent back a few magic words that they could try. Chris was pissed at him. “Fuck him. I’m not buying his ticket. Tell him Brihana wants to see him.”
“That’s a good idea. He’s such a softie.”
“It’s pretty funny that she’s the only girl in the world that has Lance wrapped around her little finger,” Chris said with a smile.
~*~
Lance totally fell for Brihana’s babble on the phone. Joey didn’t even say anything, he just let her talk after he told her it was “Uncle Lance” and she talked for a good ten minutes about what, Chris couldn’t tell. But when Joey took the phone from her, Lance was agreeing to fly out. Chris just sat there grinning the whole time.
Everything had calmed down since Joey had first gotten back to Chris’ with her. Chris had forgotten his state and tried to hold and talk to the little girl. She had shrieked and hidden behind Joey.
Joey had taken her back and calmed her down, while Chris didn’t say a word. He already felt bad for using her as bait to get Lance to show up, and after he made her cry he just felt like a bastard.
But, thank God they could exploit Lance’s soft spot for her.
~*~
It took a few days for Lance to show up. He had made some excuse about appearances. But in the meantime, Chris was still invisible. Joey had taken Brihana home and had practically moved in. They’d both gotten used to the invisibility thing and Chris’ glasses hovering in the air. And the whole food issue was over. At least Joey had stopped staring at him while he was eating.
The doorbell sounded and Lance was there with his bags, looking pissed off. Chris opened the door and stood back to let Lance in.
“Kelly sent me here. Chris, why are you pretending to be invisible?”
“Do I look like I’m pretending?”
Lance turned around, scowling. “Chris, this isn’t funny.”
“No. It isn’t.” Chris poked Lance in the chest. “And the least you could do was believe me. Asshole.”
“The fuck?”
Joey walked into the room just then, wiping his hands on his pants. “He’s invisible.”
“I see that.”
Chris cracked up and poked Lance again. “No, you don’t.”
“How? Um…Chris? Where are you?”
“Just follow my glasses.”
“Are you wearing anything else?” Lance reached out his hand, and to Chris’ surprise, brushed against his cock.
“Hey! Lance! That was my dick!”
Lance turned bright red and stepped back, ending up backing into Joey.
Joey just laughed. “I told you something was going to happen if you pranced around here naked.”
“It’s my house,” Chris said indignantly. “I can be naked. Doesn’t mean Lance has to fondle me.”
“I didn’t mean to!”
Chris ran to Joey and leaped onto his back. “Protect me from Lance!”
“Ugh. Get off me. You’re not wearing any pants, you jerk!”
Chris giggled and dashed from the room. He grabbed a pair of boxers and T-shirt from his dresser, pulling them on as he ran back.
Lance gaped at Chris’ clothes streaking across the room and then looked back at Joey. “He’s really…invisible. How? Seriously, what the fuck?”
Joey nodded. “We were hoping you could come up with something.”
Chris hugged Joey, just because. “Thanks, Joe,” he said before wrapping himself around Lance and licking his ear.
This was starting to be a really fun game.
~*~
Once Chris had calmed down, they were sitting at the table and Lance asked, “Okay, Chris. What did you do to turn invisible?”
Chris scowled at him. Like it was his fault. “Sleeping. I woke up and went into the bathroom and I was invisible.”
“Did you take some magic beans? Or buy some vanishing cream for your wrinkles?”
“Oh, fuck off. I didn’t do anything like that.”
Joey sighed. “He’s just trying to help. Come on, Chris.”
They couldn’t see the faces he was making at them. Chris stuck his tongue out at both of them and then flipped them both off. He felt better. “Fine. I watched ESPN in my room, and then I got into my bed, jerked off, and then went to sleep. The next morning I woke up, went to the bathroom and noticed this.”
He forged on when neither of them said anything. “I didn’t wish for this or wonder what it would be like. I didn’t take anything or even drink anything alcoholic, and definitely not anything that said, ‘drink me.’ No Alice in Wonderland shit, no pills I wasn’t prescribed by a …quot; yes, Lance, legal …quot; doctor.”
Lance sighed and the poked at Chris’ shirt. “You’re really invisible, huh?”
“Looks like it.” The irony was not lost on Chris.
“Can you do anything cool? Like, we could make JC think he had a ghost. Or make Justin crazy by moving all of his stuff.” He was grinning and Joey was nodding.
“Sure. If we could get me to them. And before you suggest it, I’m not going in a suitcase.”
Lance shook his head. “Okay. I’ll think of something.”
Chris nodded and got up to get a drink from the fridge. He knew Lance would figure something out. He was the supposed brains of the operation.
~*~
Chris was getting used to his clothes. It didn’t weird him out anymore how they just kind of floated there. Lance still stared at him when he ate though, so Chris had started waiting until Lance wasn’t in the room.
CHe knew it was weird. The fork kind of levitated to Chris’ mouth and then it disappeared, along with the food and looked like it was broken for a few seconds until Chris pulled it from his mouth. And pizza was just as weird. Without the fork. Joey had stared at him the first night for the whole time it took for them to eat a large pizza.
They weren’t any closer to figuring things out and Chris was starting to worry that he was never going to be visible again. That was going to make performances a little different, among other things.
Chris settled in on the couch and picked up the remote. When he got to ESPN, he stopped. Joey slid next to him after a little while and wrapped his arm around Chris.
He’d kind of missed contact with someone. With his friends. And now that he was wearing clothes, Joey was back to his touchy-feely self. Chris sighed and set the remote on Joey’s thigh.
“You choose,” he offered, knowing Joey wasn’t a huge fan of Sports Center.
Joey pulled Chris closer and kissed the top of his head. “This is fine.” Chris closed his eyes and snuggled in. With all of them so busy, it had been a while since he’d gotten to do this.
Chris had missed them.
~*~
“Holy shit.”
Chris jerked awake. He was sleeping against Joey and Lance had woken him up. “What?”
“You’re…you’re kind of. I can see through you.”
Chris looked down. Lance was right. He was sort of ghostlike. It was like he was there, but not completely.
Chris jumped up, jostling Joey. “Hey! Joe!”
“What?”
“Look!” Chris sat back down and Joey opened his eyes.
Lance sat down next to Chris. “Okay. What were you just doing?”
“Sleeping. Right here next to Joey.”
Lance looked from Joey to Chris. “That’s it? Just snuggling?”
Chris and Joey nodded together. Joey stared at Chris and then reached out to brush his fingers down Chris’ arm. Chris shivered.
“Okay. So what happened just before?”
Chris shrugged. Joey was still touching him and he liked it. “I turned on the television, and I was watching it. Then, Joey sat down and we fell asleep. Nothing we haven’t done millions of times.”
Lance nodded. “Okay. Okay. Why?”
“Why what? Why did we fall asleep? I don’t know, maybe because I’ve been stressed and a little tired? I don’t know why, okay?”
“Okay. I’m sorry, Chris. I’m just trying to figure everything out. You were watching ESPN right before either thing happened. Maybe it’s subliminal messages.”
Chris took a deep breath. He knew that Lance was just trying to help. He knew that. But it still pissed him off when Lance was all sanctimonious. Joey tugged him closer and started running his fingers through Chris’ hair. “Maybe it’s me touching him.”
Chris looked strangely at Joey and then shrugged before moving into his fingers. Lance slid his fingers up Chris’ arm like Joey had done a few moments before.
“Before you turned invisible, when was the last time someone touched you?”
Chris shrugged. It had been a while. “I dunno,” he said aloud.
Lance nodded. “Were you upset about anything?” He slid his fingers down Chris’ arm and wrapped them around Chris’.
Chris looked up sharply at Lance and started to shake his head. Because they could see him now, at least a little, and he didn’t trust his voice to keep up the lie.
Lance nodded but he didn’t look like he believed Chris. Scowling, Chris glared over at Joey and he and Lance were communicating over his head. Those fuckers had always had a kind of secret, silent language that Chris didn’t understand. Just another way that he was left out. He slid off the couch and away from them.
“Don’t do that when I’m right here,” he whispered. “Don’t analyze me. You have no idea.”
“Why don’t you tell me, Chris?” Lance was using his serious voice.
“Oh, fuck off, you patronizing fucker.” Chris stomped off and hid in his bedroom for the rest of the day. He didn’t answer the door any time they knocked. Assholes. It wasn’t like they were right. Sure, he’d been going through some things. But maybe if any of his friends gave a shit about him, they would have noticed before he turned invisible.
He took a nap and organized his underwear drawer. He was the normal one. He wore his underwear more than once. Maybe without washing it. It made Chris feel better to remember what was wrong with the rest of them.
JC was a freak. Lance was a condescending ass. He smiled to himself as he folded. At least he was half visible. Being half there was better than not there at all.
~*~
Chris left his room for dinner, but when he walked into the kitchen, Joey and Lance were having a whispered conversation that stopped as soon as he walked in the door. He made himself a couple of sandwiches and grabbed a couple of sodas before turning to go back to his room without a word.
“Chris?”
“What?”
“You okay?”
“Peachy, Joey. Just fucking peachy,” Chris said in an overly cheerful voice before going back to his room. Part of him wanted to kick the assholes out. But he really didn’t want to be alone.
~*~
When Chris woke up, his eyes were fuzzy and his head hurt. It felt like a hangover, but he hadn’t had anything to drink before going to bed except the soda. After his shower, Chris peered at himself in the mirror. He would swear he looked more solid. More *there*. That would be something to shove in Lance’s smug face. He’d spent the whole night alone and he was more visible. So much for *that* theory.
Hungry, Chris made his way to the kitchen to find Justin making breakfast.
“Justin?”
Justin jumped and then turned around with a grin. He rushed over to hug Chris and held him almost too tight. But it wasn’t like Chris minded. He hadn’t seen Justin in months.
“What are you doing here?”
“Just…I hadn’t seen you in a while.”
Chris looked skeptical. “If that’s the best you can do, you better be getting me free passes to your movie premiere, because it’s going to suck.”
“Hey! Fuck off!” He punched Chris in the shoulder and started pouting.
Chris couldn’t help the grin and slung an arm around Justin’s shoulders. “Weren’t you making me breakfast? Or was that acting too?” Chris grinned at the indignant look on Justin’s face.
~*~
As they were eating, Justin was trying not to stare. Chris kept catching the strange looks. After a while, Chris set his fork down and sighed. “It’s better than it was.”
Justin nodded. “When Lance first told me, I thought he was fucking with me.”
“Yeah. He didn’t believe me either. The fucker.”
“It’s kind of weird.”
Chris nodded. He didn’t know what to say to that. He’d missed Justin more than the rest of the guys. It was hard when your best friend was out making it big without you.
“I’m sorry that I haven’t been around.”
“No big. Things happen,” he smiled.
Justin shook his head violently. “No. It is a big deal. Why don’t you tell people when you feel this way?”
“What? Okay. I don’t know what Lance told you, but this isn’t about you. Everything isn’t about you. For the love of Christ, it’s getting better. Everyone can fucking leave me alone again.” He got up to leave the room.
“You said it was getting better, today. Now that I’m here. If it gets better when C gets here will you admit it then?”
Chris sat back down heavily. “C’s coming?”
Justin nodded. “Since Brit canceled everything, he’s got some time on his hands before Jive sets him up with another club tour.”
Chris shrugged defeated. “We’ll see then, won’t we?”
“Are you still pissed at Joey and Lance?”
“Nah. They can come out of hiding.”
“Good! We’re hungry,” came Joey’s voice through the door. “I hope you left us some bacon!”
“Fuck off,” Chris called. “It’s my bacon.”
Justin smiled and went back to eating his cereal.
~*~
They were all piled together on the couch when the door opened and JC walked in. Chris was lying with his head in Justin’s lap and his feet in Joey’s. Somehow, Lance was squished in between Chris and Joey, his hands resting on Chris’ legs.
Lance was still of the theory that it was all about the touching. And Chris really didn’t mind. He’d really missed it actually, so he let them go. Besides, Justin gave the best scalp massages and Joey was working wonders with his feet.
JC dropped his bags and then makes his way over to stand in front of the couch. “He doesn’t look invisible.”
Chris could still see through parts of himself when he looked down. He pointed to one of them and tried to look pitiful. Lance grabbed JC’s hand, making him sit on the coffee table and then put his hand on Chris’ stomach.
“Okay, this is getting weird, guys.”
Joey squeezed a foot. “Just shut up and enjoy it, Kirkpatrick. We’re all here at your beck and call.”
“Yeah? Well, in that case, I could use a beer.”
Lance snorted. “You’re almost back to normal!”
“Hey! You take that back! When have I ever been normal?”
Justin slipped out from underneath Chris and JC took his spot. Chris shifted, trying to get comfortable on JC’s bony lap and grinned when Justin came back with a beer for him.
This was pretty nice. He could get used to it, but then he remembered that he couldn’t. They were all there because of Lance’s crazy theory. And sure, he was getting more solid all the time, but once he was, they were all going to leave again.
Lance must have felt him tense up, or else he was able to read minds because he smoothed a hand down Chris’ leg and squeezed his knee. “Hey. We’re here because we love you. And you were right.”
Chris shifted again and looked at Lance. Justin had taken JC’s place on the coffee table and was holding Chris’ hand. “Yeah. It has been too long since we were all together. Almost a year.” Chris could see Lance nodding.
“Next time, though, Chris, don’t let us go this long,” Lance rumbled.
“Yeah,” Joey agreed after squeezing an ankle. “Just tell us how you feel instead of going all ‘drama queen invisible’ on us.”
Justin traced Chris’ thumb with one of his fingers. “You kind of scared me, dude.”
“Sorry,” Chris whispered.
JC tugged on Chris’ hair. “Hey, next time, can I be the invisible one? This petting and cuddling looks nice.”
Chris could hear Lance smack JC and the indignant noise that followed. Life was almost back to normal. He grinned and closed his eyes.
[ main l rps l fps ]
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