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Supposed To Be - Fate
Michael canceled his cell phone. It was the only thing he could think of that would stop the self-torture of listening to Tom’s messages over and over. He had to get a new one, but at least it would stop the new messages. Tom had been calling at least once a day, leaving long, detailed messages about the modeling work he was doing or how boring his day was. Sometimes he would just call and say that he loved and missed Michael.
The hardest thing Michael had ever done was leaving that hotel room. But he *had* to. He didn’t deserve Tom, didn’t deserve to be cared for the way Tom thought he did. Once he started getting the “this number is no longer in service” recording, maybe he would move on.
~*~
Tom didn’t know what else to do. He knew his daily calls to Michael could probably be considered stalking, but there was no other way to get in touch with him. He didn’t have an address, and no matter how many nights he hung out in the spot he’d originally met Michael, Tom couldn’t find him. None of the other guys had seen him, either.
It was frustrating to say the least.
One day Tom called, just to listen to his voice on his voice mail message he had memorized by now, there was a new recording. This one was from an operator, declaring the customer he wished to reach was no longer at the number. Tom hung up and dialed again. He got the same recording. And stared at his phone.
Now what was he going to do?
~*~
Michael was really thankful he had savings. It had been almost a month since he’d actually earned any money. If something didn’t happen soon, things were going to get desperate.
But he couldn’t bring himself to turn tricks anymore. He couldn’t just go and suck some other guy’s cock and not think of Tom, or let a random guy fuck him without thinking of the noises Tom had made. And there was no way he could fuck someone without calling up memories of Tom to get him hard.
And that was pure fucking torture.
He really hoped his acting career would take off. And soon.
~*~
It didn’t matter how many guys sucked his cock, or how many guys let Tom fuck them; it wasn’t the same. The noises, the smells, the tastes were all wrong. And every single encounter left him unsatisfied and looking for something else, needing something that those random strangers just couldn’t provide.
Tom looked at the man in his bed in disgust. “You have to leave. Now.” He stood up and made his way hastily to the bathroom, without looking at the guy again. The mirror had become his enemy; it showed him just how disgusted he felt with himself. He ignored it in favor of getting into the shower.
The water raining down on him only reminded him further of things he didn’t want to remember. He’d only taken five showers with Michael. Those few had been more fun than any he’d ever taken alone.
Tom was not going to let himself cry.
~*~
Sometimes Michael would find himself standing outside the window of the shop where Tom had gotten him the black button down shirt that he wore when he really needed someone to believe in him. He’d started to consider it his lucky shirt, because he always seemed to get the part that he auditioned for when he wore it.
That was why he was going to Los Angeles. There was this part that he had to try out for. It sounded amazing and everything he’d ever dreamed of. The tentative meeting with the producers had been very promising, and they were paying his way.
Michael stood in front of the shop and counted the weeks in his head. This Sunday would be the thirty-fifth week since he’d last seen Tom. Since he’d last had sex with a man. Since he’d last had sex with *anyone*. He’d found a job in an insurance office doing menial office work. He hated filing, but at least it didn’t leave the taste of latex in his mouth.
~*~
Ever since Tom had made the switch to acting from modeling, he’d been completely exhausted. There was so much more work to do than when he used to stand around in front of the camera and look good. There were lines to memorize and special places to stand. And cues to remember…but even now, everyone wanted him to take off his shirt.
His first real acting gig was on some show called Judging Amy and they really liked him and it was cool… but there was some kind of bathtub scene coming up that was really making him nervous.
The hotel he was staying in was pretty nice. It wasn’t anything like the Four Seasons, but it had its charms. Plus, the people at CBS were picking up the tab and he had another audition with some people from the WB for a leading role.
Exhausted, he curled up on the empty bed and tried not to think about Michael. He always tried not to, but it never worked. Even as tired as he was, he couldn’t fall asleep. However, there was always something he could do to speed up that process.
It was his first night with Michael always provided the best material. When he’d first dropped to his knees right there in front of the door and pulled Tom’s cock out of his pants. Tom had been almost crazy with want and lust, and then Michael his legs, calmly sucking him to orgasm.
His cock was already hard, familiar in his hand, wet with pre-come, and Tom couldn’t help stroking hard. He remembered the feelings of Michael’s ass surrounding him, his tongue doing those amazing things, his fingers stroking him off when he was inside. It didn’t take long. It never did with his memories of Michael.
He was still disgusted with himself. It wasn’t as bad as those first few weeks after Michael – when he’d fucked anything that would let him hoping to find some of the same feelings. It had never worked.
It didn’t now.
~*~
Michael was buzzing with excitement. There was no way he could sleep. The meetings and the audition and the actual possibility of actually getting something this *big* had made Michael was wide-awake.
But he had a meeting at eight in the morning and really needed to sleep. At least the producers had put him up in a nice hotel. It wasn’t as nice as the Four Seasons, but it was still a lot better than Michael was used to. Much better than any place he’d been in since Tom.
He tried not to think about Tom much. It always made him sad. Like maybe if they had met under different circumstances or at a different place, then things would be better. Maybe they would have had more than a weekend together. More than just the two nights that only served to fuel all of his current fantasies.
It was as good a way as any to get to sleep. A warm shower and a quick toss down the drain and he’d be settled down enough to sleep. Maybe even have a nice little drink after that if it still wasn’t enough. Because he wasn’t much of a drinker, it always hit him harder and he could usually count on a small glass of something to knock him out pretty quickly.
The room wasn’t actually that big, and the shower relatively small, but it wasn’t like it mattered for Michael’s meager purposes. He let the water run until it was hot and then stood under it for a few seconds before slathering the soap onto a washcloth and rubbing himself.
Soapy water slid down his body, and he couldn’t help dragging his hand through the suds, wrapping his slick hand around his cock. God. His hand wasn’t as big as Tom’s had been or as gentle, but it was here, and Tom’s certainly wasn’t.
Several harsh, quick strokes, and Michael was close. He’d given up on not thinking about Tom. His brain went automatically to the picture of Tom’s head between his thighs, his eyes looking up into Michael’s.
He gasped and came, Tom’s name mixing in with the quiet grunt. It echoed off the tiled walls. It never failed to get him off. He hardly even felt guilty for it.
~*~
Tom was meeting with the WB producers today. They’d spoken over the phone and he knew his agent had sent them his clips from Judging Amy, and his headshots, but this would be their first official meeting and audition. The part he was trying out for was the lead in some new teen drama. Tom was twenty-four, and he had no idea how he was going to look fifteen. Brushing his hair forward with his fingers, he looked at himself in the bathroom mirror and stuck out his tongue.
Tom really hoped he’d get this part. It would be steady work and money. He wasn’t hurting for cash, but it would probably keep his mind off things. He was entirely too obsessed with Michael.
A soft smile snuck up on his features and he was surprised to see how happy he looked when he thought about Michael. He had to stop. And he couldn’t let the WB people know he was gay. That was not advisable in Hollywood. He’d seen what had happened to openly gay actors, and he knew that he’d never get the lead of a teen drama if he told anyone the truth. He practiced looking young in the mirror.
~*~
Michael had his meeting in a little while. His new agent was so much better than the last one. It probably helped that she was female. His last agent had caught him while he was out with one of his ‘dates’ and any time they had a meeting could never keep his eyes off Michael’s mouth. It had seriously creeped him out.
He looked in the mirror and dragged his fingers through his hair. He was so nervous his stomach was doing flip-flops and he was shaking. Michael needed this so bad. This part was perfect, and he just *had* to get it. His savings were dwindling and he really didn’t want to go back to sucking cock. And office work was so freaking mind-numbing.
He tried not to look as desperate as he felt.
~*~
The doors of the elevator were closing when Tom noticed someone trying to catch them. It was too late to stop them; he hoped the guy wasn’t in a hurry. The voice that called out to hold the elevator sounded vaguely familiar, but Tom dismissed that thought and turned his mind back to his meeting.
~*~
Fuck. The elevator door closed just before Michael could stick his hand in it. What kind of ass saw someone running for an elevator and didn’t even try to stop it? He was going to be late. He jammed his thumb on the button and let out a sigh of disgust. He really hoped he could catch a cab quickly
When another elevators showed up, he got on and started tapping his foot. Michael was still kind of pissed at the guy who hadn’t held the elevator for him. The fleeting glimpse of dark hair had looked vaguely familiar, but Michael dismissed that thought and turned his mind back to his meeting.
~*~
The bellman called Tom a cab. It didn’t take very long, which was good, because he really didn’t want to be late. That would be bad form, especially as his first impression. Tom ran his fingers through his hair as the car showed up and he got inside.
On the way to the studio, Tom closed his eyes and tried to think of something that would calm him down. He had given himself a year. A year to try acting, just to see if it challenged him more than modeling and to see if he was any good at it. He hadn’t taken a single acting class, and he had only had the one major job, but he hoped this would work. He was having a lot more fun doing this than he ever had as a model.
~*~
God damn it. Michael watched someone get into the cab that was there, and he really didn’t want to wait. Fuck this. He was going to be late. He *hated* being late. The man that had climbed into the cab had looked familiar; a weird sense of déjà vu came over him and he stared after the yellow car.
“Sir?” Michael whipped around and stared at the bellman, who offered to call him a cab. Nodding absently, he waited for the car, trying to compose himself for the meeting. He’d had his pages for a few days, but it was all secretive. He only had the pages for the scene he was reading. The rest of the script was still a mystery.
It was all supposed to be relatively easy. He slid his sunglasses back on and smiled as the cab approached. If he could just stay calm, everything was going to be fine.
He’d taken a relaxation course, on the advice of his new agent, and since then, combined with his lucky shirt, he’d been doing a lot better in the audition process. This show could be huge.
If he just didn’t blow it.
He sniggered to himself at his own little joke as he got into the cab.
~*~
Tom was a few minutes early. He waited in the reception area, flipping through a magazine and eyeing the secretary. She kept looking up and smiling at him, and it was making him uncomfortable. He wanted to jump up and shout, “I’m gay! Quit looking at me like that! I like dick!” but he didn’t. He just flipped a few more pages of the magazine and started to read a stupid article entitled, ‘How to make him want you more.’
He heard the telephone ring and when the girl picked up she said, “No, only one gentleman is here. Yes, he’s probably caught in traffic. I’ll bring Mr. Welling in. Thank you, Sir.”
“Mr. Millar and Mr. Gough are ready to see you now, Mr. Welling. Follow me.”
She stood up and Tom dropped his magazine on the table before following her down a long hallway to a very nicely furnished room. There was a large oval table in the middle of the room, made of some dark wood that he sort of recognized from his construction days. Two men sat at the head of the table, and the woman smiled at them and said, “This is Mr. Welling. When Mr. Rosenbaum arrives, I’ll show him in.”
“Thank you, Miss Kreuk,” one of the men said, nodding. It was like he barely noticed she was there at all.
Both men stood up and Tom walked over to shake their hands. “Mr. Welling, Tom. I’m Miles Millar and this is Al Gough.” Tom shook the hand extended to him and smiled broadly. He’d been coached on this. Always look them in the eye, smile and shake firmly. “It’s good to meet you, finally. I know we’ve spoken with your agent, and we’ve seen some of your work. We were really excited to meet you.”
Tom was suddenly extremely nervous, and for some reason, he felt himself blushing. He smiled at them, and sat down in the seat he was offered. “Thank you. I’m really happy to be here.”
“We’re just waiting for the other actor that’s reading for Lex Luthor. You, of course, are reading for our young Clark Kent. You and Mr. Rosenbaum would be working very closely together in a lot of the scenes, and we want to make sure you guys have chemistry together. We’ve had all kinds of people in here, and sometimes, we narrow it down and people just don’t click. You know? We want you guys to really shine.”
Tom nodded. Mr. Rosenbaum must be the guy they were talking about before. He hoped that the guy wouldn’t make them wait long.
“Now, we’re going to have you read from one of our favorite scenes. Do you have the pages we sent you?”
Tom nodded. He still didn’t know much about the show. He knew he was supposed to be this fifteen-year-old kid, Clark Kent, and that he was eventually going to become Superman, but he had no idea what happened in between.
Just then the door opened and he heard the chipper voice of the secretary again. “Just right through this door, sir.”
Tom couldn’t really see the guy; the door was in the way. He leaned back in his chair and waited for him to come in. He heard the voice before he saw him.
Tom looked up, startled. Straining his ears, he listened for that one remembered voice and nothing else, frowning as he attempted to isolate its deep tones from the fawning sounds of the secretary speaking as well. He was suddenly very eager to see if he was right.
It couldn’t be...
But he’d know that voice anywhere.
~*~
Michael urged the driver to go faster. When he got to the building only a few minutes late, he gave the driver a nice tip. After all, he could have been much later. He yanked the door open and the girl behind the counter smiled at him.
“Mr. Rosenbaum?”
He nodded and tried to straighten his shirt.
“Follow me; they’ve been waiting for you.”
Shit, he’d probably already fucked this up. He knew better than to make people wait on him. He hated being late. He shook his head and followed the girl back to a room with a closed door. He could hear people talking on the other side.
“Just right through this door, sir,” she said.
Michael walked in and smiled at the two men greeting him. He shook their hands and they turned to introduce the other man at the table and Michael just stared.
Jesus fucking Christ. It was… How the fuck?
~*~
“Mike?” Tom whispered. He knew his eyes were probably huge and he could barely hear the conversation going on around him. The producers were saying things, maybe introducing him to Mike, but all Tom could do was stare.
Mike. Holy God, his potential co-star was Mike. *Mike*. He started grinning and stuck out his hand. He hadn’t heard anything Al or Miles had said, because this was Mike. He tried to find his voice and managed to squeak out, “Nice to meet you.” He nodded and sat back down, still grinning.
~*~
Michael sucked in a breath and coughed at the suddenness of it. Tom? But Tom was a model, not an actor. And this was LA, and this was where he was supposed to meet his co-star. Was he going to be in a show with Tom? How in God’s name was he supposed to work with Tom on a daily basis? All of these thoughts rushed through his brain and he couldn’t focus on any one, especially since none of them made a lot of sense.
“Tom. Nice to meet you, too.” He managed to find his composure before Tom did. The expression on his face was entirely too adorable. The smile, the wide-eyed astonishment, it made Michael grin as they shook hands.
He may have held on a little bit too long. The electricity that shot through him *had* to be his imagination. Were they still that connected?
The producers were talking. He’d barely caught their names, Al and Miles? That was a weird name. They were talking and Michael tried to pay attention to what they were saying, but he could practically feel Tom sitting next to him.
“…favorite scene. See, what happens is that Lex is driving really fast and hits Clark on a bridge. Clark saves his life, and Lex wants to reward him, so he buys him a truck. Clark’s parents make him return it, and this is the scene where he does. Here are your scripts.” Papers were slid across the table to them and Michael read through it quickly.
“We know that normally you’d be up and walking around for the scene, but we want you guys to try it like this. We’re worried about how you guys will work *together*, rather than anything else. So just focus on that, okay?”
He was glad it was the same scene that he’d gotten the previous week. He’d had the pages memorized for days.
He looked up and Tom was still smiling at him. “What are you doing here?” Michael knew he shouldn’t be asking, but he really had to know.
Michael shook his head and looked back at his paper. He had a lot more to say than Tom did. He could do this. Shutting his eyes and taking a deep breath, he licked his lips and then whispered, “Ready?” He knew both of the executives were watching them intensely. He really wanted to put his hand on Tom’s knee or leap across the chairs and fuck him through the expensive leather.
But he did neither. Instead, he settled on swiveling his chair around and bumping into Tom’s knees.
“Clark?” Michael spoke softly. He didn’t know what the rest of the script looked like. It was one of the things he hated about read-throughs like this. After a pause, he continued. “I didn’t see you.”
“I…uh…buzzed, but no one answered,” Tom said nervously. It was rather appropriate that he was nervous.
“How’d you get through the gate?”
“I kinda squeezed through the bars,” Tom said quickly. “If this is a bad time…”
“Oh, no, no. I think Heike has sufficiently kicked my ass for the day,” Michael said with a grin. Tom was really good. This was going to be fun.
“This is a great place.”
Still grinning, Michael answered, “Yeah? If you’re dead and in the market for something to haunt.”
“I just meant, it’s roomy,” Tom said too fast, like he was trying to apologize.
“It’s the Luthor ancestral home, or so my father claims. He had it shipped over from Scotland, stone by stone.”
“Yeah, I remember trucks rolled through town for weeks, but no one ever moved in.”
They were getting into a rhythm now.
“My father had no intention of living here. He’s never even stepped through the front door.”
Tom looked confused and really young when he said, “Then why’d he ship it over?”
“Because he could,” Michael said smoothly.
A pause, because the script suggests they switched rooms, before Michael added, “How’s the new ride?”
“That’s why I’m here.”
Michael looked up at Tom and gave him a small smile. “What’s the matter? You don’t like it?”
Tom shook his head. “No, no. That’s not it.” He was silent for a small second. “I just can’t keep it.”
Michael was a little confused about what was going on in the script. It probably showed on his face. He hoped that it worked. “Clark, you saved my life. I think it’s the least I can do.”
Tom looked a little sad. And Michael spoke again, “Your father doesn’t like me, does he?”
He waited for Tom to take the deep breath that the script instructed before he kept talking. “It’s okay.” Michael ran his hand through his hair, blanching slightly at what the next words were. “I’ve been bald since I was nine. I’m used to people judging me before they get to know me.” He wondered if that meant he was going to have to shave his head every day. It wasn’t the worst thing he’d ever done.
“It’s nothing personal. He’s just not crazy about your dad.”
Michael smiled again. “Figures the apple doesn’t fall very far from the tree?” He asked softly. “Understandable. What about you, Clark? Did you fall far from the tree?”
Tom looked down at his script again and Michael smiled at him. He finally said, “I better go. Thanks for the truck.”
“Clark,” Michael called out. “Do you believe a man can fly?”
“Sure,” Tom answered in amused tone. “In a plane.”
“No, I’m not talking about that.” Michael shook his head. “I’m talking about soaring through the clouds with nothing but air beneath you.”
“People can’t fly, Lex.”
“I did. After the accident, when my heart stopped. It was the most exhilarating two minutes of my life.” Michael waited a second before continuing. “I flew over Smallville, and for the first time in my life, I didn’t see a dead end. I saw a new beginning.” Michael looked up at Tom and smiled. “Thanks to you, I have a second chance.”
Tom looked up at him and smiled slightly as Michael went on, whispering, “We have a future, Clark. And I don’t want anything to stand in the way of our friendship.”
Michael didn’t realize that he was holding his breath until Al and Miles started clapping and his chest felt tight and he had to exhale. His heart was beating extremely fast and he was almost light-headed.
“That was excellent, guys. We have a few things to discuss.” Michael thought it was Al speaking. “Why don’t you both sit here and get to know each other for a few minutes? We’ll be right back,” the one that Michael thought was Al said.
They nodded and smiled at each other. Al and Miles stood and shook both of their hands as they left. They were both smiling, too.
When the door clicked shut, Michael and Tom were both still standing. “What are you doing here, Tom?”
“I started acting about four months ago. I got a part on that show Judging Amy and…then these people called. I just wanted to try it.”
“That’s not what I meant, Tom.” He turned and looked out the window at the city expanse below them. “I meant…I don’t know what I mean. How have you been?”
Michael felt a hand tentatively touch his shoulder. “Good. I…I tried to call.”
“I know. I just couldn’t…”
“We really need to talk. Can we have dinner together?”
Nodding, Michael turned around to face Tom. “They’re putting me up at the Marriott downtown, and there’s great little restaurant next to it.”
Tom grinned. “That’s where I’m staying too. Wait. Were you trying to catch the elevator this morning, and it closed on you?”
Michael laughed. “That was you? I was so pissed! You let the doors close and I was late because of that. And then the cab!” It was all fitting together in his head. “I thought you looked familiar, but I couldn’t believe it was you.”
Tom smiled. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you late.”
“Nah…hey, listen. Have they cast anyone at all yet?”
Shrugging, Tom shook his head. “I have no idea. I was only in here for about five minutes before you showed up.”
Michael smiled and then stepped forward. He really wanted to just wrap his arms around Tom and never let go, but he knew he was the one that had left, not Tom. Maybe Tom was pissed because he changed his number and never wanted to see him again.
Or, maybe they could start over now, now that they were equal…and there was nothing between them except their past. The thought of touching Tom again was going to make him hard if he wasn’t careful. He slid back into his chair and pulled it close to the table so his lap was hidden. Tom sat next to him and smiled.
~*~
Tom was still in shock. He couldn’t believe that it was Michael. Fucking Michael. He’d waited so long to see him, thought about him every day for so long, and now he was close enough to touch, but he didn’t know if he could.
His touch at the window hadn’t been shrugged off, but Tom still didn’t know. God. He just wanted to shove Michael against the wall and kiss him until they were both breathless, but Al and Miles could come back at any second, and that would be bad. He couldn’t help but notice that the shirt Michael was wearing was the one they bought together. That had to mean something, right?
“So, what have you been doing?”
Michael smiled and shook his head. “Well, I got a job in an insurance office. It’s mundane and so boring that sometimes I want to scream. But, I’ve been doing that in New York, until these guys flew me out here for this.”
“You haven’t…”
“No. I couldn’t.” Michael shook his head.
Tom grinned. Michael hadn’t gone back to hooking. A shot of something ran through him as he realized what that meant. “You mean…I was the last…?”
Michael grinned back. “You were. I haven’t even…I mean…no one at all since then.”
Tom gaped. “No one? You haven’t…in almost a year?”
“Nope. I…I just couldn’t.”
The door handle jiggled and then opened as the two producers joined them again. Tom sat back in his chair, realizing how close he was leaning towards Michael.
It was really good that he hadn’t jumped Michael like he wanted to.
~*~
Michael was still smiling when Al and Miles walked in and he had to sit back in his chair. He didn’t realize how close he had been leaning toward Tom. And he couldn’t believe he’d blurted that out about Tom being his last client.
They were sending them back to the hotel. One of them said something about expecting a call from their agents, and there was a lot of hand shaking and nodding.
Michael was still in a little bit of shock about this. He actually had a really good chance at a starring role, something he could possibly show to his parents. Something that might air, at least once, on national television. He was giddy with excitement.
He stood up to shake both Al’s and Miles’ hands vigorously, and when they left he turned and hugged Tom. When strong arms wound around him and pulled him close, Michael panicked. It had been a long, long time since he’d let anyone touch him like this, and he really wasn’t used to it anymore. At one time, it hadn’t mattered who touched him, who grabbed whatever. But now, he had been separated from that kind of thing for so long, this hug was a surprise, even to him.
Michael pulled away, a little awkwardly, and looked at Tom shyly. “I did miss you, you know.”
Tom shook his head. “I thought…I was so confused, Michael. I cared about you so much, and you just left. And…you never returned any of my calls.”
Too stunned to actually apologize or explain, Michael blinked back the sudden tears and turned away. He gathered up the script and his bag, and stumbled over one of the chairs in his haste to get out of the room. Cared. As in previously. As in, not any more. He had to get out of there. To be so high and then dropped so fucking low, it was a horrible shock.
“Mike? Are you running again?”
Michael stopped and turned around slowly. “I don’t know how to deal with a lot of things, Tom,” he whispered. “My…uh…previous employment only taught me not to trust a single word that anyone said and to listen very carefully to the lies, because in them was truth.”
He looked down at the ground before continuing, “I know you’re probably angry at me for never calling you back, and for changing the cell phone so you couldn’t contact me anymore, but…I had to do those things for my own sanity.” Michael looked up at Tom and smiled wearily. “I…I didn’t know how to deal with people caring about me. I still don’t really. It was a really bad time for me…I wasn’t worthy of it, of you, because of what I did. You have to understand,” he said desperately.
Tom crossed the room, stepping close enough to invade all of Michael’s personal space again. “Never say that. Never. Do you hear me? You were worthy. You *are* worthy,” he said in a fierce whisper. “We have to go. Because if we stand here any longer, I am not going to be responsible for what I do to you, and I really don’t think that this is the best place to show you what I mean.”
“What?”
“I never stopped loving you, Mike. I tried finding a replacement, or at least a substitute, but it never worked. I could only think of you.” He ran his fingers across Michael’s cheek, smiling. “I only wanted - want you.”
“Let’s go, Tom.” Michael opened the door, grinning, and practically ran down the hallway toward the reception area. He barely acknowledged the dark-haired girl behind the desk as he dragged Tom through the doors and into the elevator.
While they were waiting for it, Tom kept turning and grinning at him. Michael was so excited about all the things that had happened, he just wanted to laugh, or scream or run up and down the street yelling, “Tom thinks I’m worthy! Tom thinks I’m worthy!!” in a crazy mantra over and over again until he was too hoarse to continue.
He settled for the grinning. He’d save the yelling for back at the hotel.
~*~
Tom didn’t want to wait until they were back at the hotel. He didn’t want to even wait until they were in the cab, but the company elevator where one was trying to be hired, was not the best place to attack one’s new potential co-star.
He kept looking at Michael and grinning. He was just so gorgeous. If it was possible, it seemed like he’d somehow grown more attractive in the time they’d been apart.
Tom thought he might have a long road ahead of him to get Michael to accept his love, to realize that it was okay for someone to love him.
And he did still really care about Michael. He wanted to ask about his family, ask how his parents were doing…to see if his mother was still unemployed. Looking up, he found Michael looking at him and smiling slightly. One kiss, just one…but he knew that would never satisfy him. He wanted more. He wanted everything.
~*~
As they rode the elevator, Michael clenched his hands into fists and held them at his side. He really wanted to touch Tom. He wanted to know if his skin was as smooth as he remembered. He wanted to know if those lips were as soft as he’d imagined so many times since those nights. And he really wanted to see if Tom smelled as intoxicating as before. But he knew that if he let himself give in to any of those things, it wouldn’t stop there, and he knew that the elevator of one’s possible new employment was not the best place to do such things.
No matter how good they sounded.
Tom was just so fucking amazing. His hair was a little longer than before, and he was even more beautiful than he remembered. Michael still didn’t know how anyone, especially someone like Tom, could care about him, but he was willing to learn. Or at least try. It had been agony being apart, plus if they were going to work together, it would probably be easier to try and conceal a relationship, rather than hide awkwardness and resentment.
The elevator finally stopped and they walked through the lobby towards the street. It was loud outside, but it didn’t bother Michael. Not much could now. He was so damn happy that he didn’t know what to do first. He had to call his mom.
“You get a cab - I have to call my mom.”
Tom nodded and grinned. “How is she, anyway? I remember you saying before that you sent money home to her and stuff…how did all that work out?”
Michael shook his head. “She was unemployed for a long time, that’s why I was sending the money. But, she got a job not long after…I…um…quit…um…and they’ve been doing much better.” He knew he blushed a little as he spoke. “Anyway, I need to let her know I got this. She’ll be really excited.”
Tom raised his arm to hail a cab as Michael pulled his cell phone from his pocket and dialed from memory. He got her machine and smiled as a cab pulled up.
“Mom,” he said when the beep finally sounded. “I have good news! You know that pilot I was telling you about in L.A.? It looks like I have a really good shot at it! And if I got it, I’d be working with a really great guy. I’ll tell you all about it soon. Maybe I’ll make a stop in Indiana and see you guys on the way back to the city to get my things. It’s all up in the air right now, but I’m just really excited and I had to tell you. Love you. Bye.”
Michael climbed into the cab when he hung up, and slid next to Tom on the seat. He tried not to sit too close. He couldn’t be held responsible if he did, but then, Tom spread his legs, maybe just getting comfortable, but maybe he was doing it to tease him. Jesus. It was going to be a long cab ride.
Every time they would hit a pothole or dip in the road, Tom would inch closer. He was very subtle about it, but soon he was practically in Michael’s lap. It was kind of amusing. He leaned over and whispered, “You know you can’t sit on my lap here.” Licking his lips, he darted a glance at the driver to make sure he wasn’t paying attention. “But when we get back to the hotel, I can sit on yours…ride your cock…let you fuck me? You’d like that, wouldn’t you?”
Tom groaned and pulled away slowly. “You’re a dead man,” he said under his breath. “You’re such a tease.”
Michael grinned at him and really wanted to say more, but the cab arrived at their hotel. After a brief question of who was going to pay, they ended up splitting it. When they got out of the cab, Michael watched Tom check around him before adjusting himself in his jeans. He was pretty hard himself.
With an exchange of a heated look, they hurried through the lobby and waited for the elevator. God, if it would just hurry. It arrived after a few agonizing minutes in which several other people joined them to wait. Michael had been hoping for an empty elevator, but instead, it was crowded and people were all pushed together.
Thank God, he ended up squished next to Tom.
He could feel the length of Tom’s cock pressed against him, hear the change in his breathing as Michael was pushed into him, but the best part was that with the way they were shoved against the wall, Michael could grope Tom without anyone noticing. So he did. He felt, rather than heard Tom’s gasp and he chuckled to himself. Tom was so hard and Michael could hardly contain himself.
“Dead man,” Tom whispered again.
The elevator had a few stops before their floor, but when it finally arrived Michael was relieved. Finally, he’d get close to Tom again. Not that he wasn’t close in the elevator, but he wanted skin. All that glorious skin that in mere moments would be his.
“My room,” Michael whispered when Tom’s arms wound around him. “Just a few more seconds, Tom. And then I’m yours.”
“Promise?”
Michael nodded as he fumbled with his key card. Goddamn things. Somehow, he managed to get the door open and they stumbled inside. Tom pressed him against the wall and their lips met in a fierce kiss. All the months of being apart, all the loneliness that he’d forced on himself, Michael poured into the kiss.
God, he’d missed Tom.
“Need you. God, so much. Can’t wait.” Tom murmured as he dropped kisses all over Michael’s face.
Groaning, Michael tried to get his clothes off. There were just too many buttons. He tore his mouth away from Tom’s and panted as he yanked it, still buttoned, over his head. The fingers that slid across his chest were certainly distracting, but Michael tried to concentrate on getting his pants off. One button and then the zipper and with a shove, he was finally naked.
Now, it was only Tom’s clothing in his way. “I need you, too. Want you so bad. C’mon, Tom. Get naked for me.”
Tom closed his eyes and pulled the shirt he was wearing over his head. His pants were already undone, and it didn’t take long for Michael to get them off, just seconds before they tumbled onto the bed.
Hot skin pressed against his own and Michael was in heaven. It was so wonderful and just as amazing as he remembered. He shifted his hips and their cocks brushed against each other. Fuck. That was perfect. It wasn’t going to take long for Michael. It had been so long since he’d been with anyone that he knew that he wasn’t going to last.
Tom panted in his ear and whispered, “Please. God, please. I…fuck, Mike.”
Michael slid his shaking hand down between them and wrapped it around Tom’s cock. God, he was beautiful. He arched into Michael’s fist, his hips coming off the bed and he cried out as his eyes squeezed shut. It only took a few rough strokes and Tom came all over his hand.
He couldn’t wait for Tom to recover. Michael let go of Tom’s cock and took his own into his hand and started to jack himself off. He let his eyes drop close, and was surprised when a big hand wrapped around his own and started to help. It was over before it really started.
With a groan and a high-pitched noise that he would never admit to, Michael climaxed when he felt Tom’s thumb brush across the head of his cock.
“Jesus Christ, Tom.”
“I know.”
Their breathing slowly returned to normal and Michael opened his eyes to grin at Tom. He got a lazy smile in return before Tom wrapped his arms around him. Michael snuggled in and let himself drift off to sleep.
~*~
Tom was slow to come awake. He didn’t think he’d been asleep that long, but the sun coming through the windows was weird. It must have been later than he thought. He stretched, smiling as he opened his eyes and looked around.
Michael wasn’t there. He wasn’t in the bed, and when he strained to listen, he didn’t hear him in the bathroom either. Tom jumped up and noticed that his clothes were gone from the floor and he started to panic, but then remembered that they were in Michael’s room, and it wasn’t like he was going to run away. Again.
At least he hoped not.
He made a quick trip to the bathroom and cleaned himself off. Just as he was finishing, he heard the door handle rattle and the door opened. Michael stood in the doorway, smiling, his hair still mussed up and a small bag in his hand.
“Where…?”
Michael bit his lip and reached his hand into the bag. “I didn’t have any condoms. And I didn’t know if you did…so…I had to go down to the gift shop. They didn’t have any lube, though…” He held up the small box.
Tom grinned. “Oh, God, I didn’t even think of that.”
Chuckling, Michael shrugged. “I didn’t either. I was asleep, and when I woke up, the thought hit me. I also bought this.” He pulled the other item from the bag and frowned a little. “It’s not my first choice, but lotion isn’t too bad.”
Tom pulled him close and closed his eyes. “I thought…”
“I’m sorry. I wanted to be back before you woke up. I didn’t…I wouldn’t. Tom. I’m so sorry for that. I…” The look in his eyes was so open, so honest, that Tom pushed his fear away and smiled.
“I know, Mike. I just panicked. I mean, we’re in *your* room.”
Michael laughed. “Yeah,” he whispered. He ran his fingers through Tom’s hair and smiled at him. “So…now that we have everything we need, I seem to remember someone wanting to fuck me.”
Tom groaned and nodded. “I… Please?”
“God.” Michael let out a breath and started to shuck his clothes again. He’d just thrown on what he’d worn earlier, but Tom hadn’t bothered getting dressed, which was good, because it let him watch the show.
Michael began with the buttons on his shirt, but seemed to grow impatient, because he just pulled it over his head again. Tom had to grin as he watched Michael struggled with the button on his pants. Tom stepped back to the bed to sit down and watch.
Finally, Michael was naked again and he crossed the room to stand in front of Tom. His cock was already hard again and Tom wondered if they’d ever stop using condoms. He wanted to taste him.
“Hey, Mike, I have a question for you.”
“Okay.” Michael smiled and slid his arms around Tom’s neck.
Tom smiled slightly as he looked up. “You haven’t had sex in almost a year, right?” Michael nodded. “And you’ve had all your tests and things…and I know that I’m clean and everything…so when do we get to dispose of these things?”
Michael closed his eyes and bit his lip. “I have…and I am. But those tests always say that you can’t be sure…and I really don’t want to hurt you, Tom. I don’t know how I would handle that.” He smiled slightly when he opened his eyes.
“I trust you. And I really want to taste your cock.”
“Fuck,” Michael whispered. “I…”
“How about no more condoms for oral, but we use them for the rest?” Tom could feel Michael’s cock twitch at the idea and he slid his arms around Michael’s waist. “It will be okay, I promise.”
Michael leaned down for a kiss. It wasn’t an answer, but Tom let it go, for the moment, just because he couldn’t get enough of his mouth. They shared a hot, sloppy kiss that seemed to go on forever.
Tom spread his legs, and then slid his hands down to Michael’s ass to drag him closer. Their cocks brushed and he swallowed a groan. He was going to get to fuck Michael again. He’d dreamed about this, thought about it so often that he was half afraid that he’d ruin it by coming too soon. Thank God that they’d taken the edge off earlier.
“Do you want to open me, Tom? Push those huge fingers of yours inside me and make me ready for your cock? Are you ready for this?”
Tom could only nod, the hot words falling from Michael's lips as much a turn on as when they had first met.
Grinning, Michael pushed Tom back onto the bed and crawled up onto him. “It’s been a long time, so you’re going to need a lot of that, okay?” He strained down for another kiss before twisting to the side and leaning up on his elbows to watch.
Tom scrambled to his knees and moved between Michael’s thighs. He grabbed the bottle of lotion, and with shaking fingers, managed to open it and pour some into his hand. It wasn’t the best thing to use -- he knew that it absorbed into skin -- but he really wasn’t thinking about that. He could barely think past the idea of being inside of Michael again.
His hands were still shaking when he slid a finger inside of Michael. He closed his eyes again and tried to take deep breaths. Michael gasped and then groaned as he relaxed a little. Tom was really nervous. He hadn’t done this in a really long time, and he really didn’t want to mess it up.
“More, Tom. I forgot how good you are.”
Encouraged, Tom pushed another finger inside and started to scissor them, stretching Michael slowly. After only a few thrusts, he was arching his hips, meeting every one and making hot little whimpering noises that were driving Tom crazy.
Panting, Michael begged, “Please, please, Tom. Fuck me.”
“You’re not ready. I don’t want to hurt you,” Tom whispered.
“I don’t care anymore,” he said as he arched up hard off the bed and pulled Tom down for a kiss. “I want your cock inside me, now. Fuck me, please?”
With a groan, Tom accepted the kiss and slid his fingers out of Michael. The condoms were still in the box. What kind of genius made the fucking boxes so damn hard to open? He fumbled the cardboard and finally succeeded in getting one of the foil packets out.
“Fuck,” he whimpered in frustration until Michael took the condom from him and opened it expertly with his teeth. With a grin, he leaned up and rolled it onto Tom’s cock.
“Thank you.” Tom grinned back.
“No problem. Now, fuck me, or there’s going to *be* a problem.”
“Pushy, aren’t we?” Tom teased. He had to get more lotion to slick himself. When he did, he gripped the base of his cock and started pushing in. Michael was hot and tight and there was so much friction that he couldn’t help the moan that escaped his lips.
“Tom, fuck.”
“Shh, I know. Relax, Mike.” A steady push in until his hips rested against Michael’s ass. Jesus, he was tight. The pressure surrounded him, but he was completely gone when there was a thrust back. “Yeah, that’s it.”
It was better than he remembered. Better than his imagination, even. It was *Mike* and it was real and, God, so fucking good, that he was shaking with the need to move.
Tom gripped Michael’s hips and shifted a little as he built up his rhythm. Deep and hard, rocking thrusts that felt so good, he didn’t ever want to stop. Michael was moving into each thrust; he was so beautiful. His hair fell over his forehead and he was biting his lip – so gorgeous that Tom had to close his eyes or he was going to come too soon.
“Tom, Tom…need this…fuck! God, so good.”
“Yeah, Mike.” He rolled his hips on a thrust in, messing up his rhythm, but he didn’t care when it forced a cry out of Michael. “Yeah,” he moaned.
After a few more thrusts, Tom forced his eyes open and saw that Michael’s hand had found its way to his cock. His fist worked frantically, moving so fast that Tom was mesmerized.
Tom could feel the muscles around his own cock starting to contract as Michael edged towards climax. Spots swam before his eyes and his entire world focused down to just him and Michael. It was like electricity shooting through him when he felt the first sensation of orgasm hit him.
He heard Michael call his name as his ass clamped down on Tom’s cock. That was all it took. He cried out as his own orgasm wash over him. He felt light headed and dizzy as he collapsed, panting, onto Michael. The sounds of their breathing were the only thing in the room.
It was a few minutes before Tom caught his breath and could form words again. “I missed you. Thank God I found you again.” He pulled Michael close and closed his eyes.
~*~
Michael was sticky and sweaty and when Tom pulled him close, he knew there was no way he was going to fall asleep without a shower. Tom’s breathing evened out and when Michael could tell that he was asleep, he carefully untangled himself and slipped out of the bed.
He grabbed a clean pair of boxers for himself and made his way to the shower. He was just going to make it a quick shower – he really wanted to get back to bed with Tom. It wasn’t something he wanted to admit, but he really liked snuggling with him. Michael smiled to himself as he adjusted the water and stepped inside.
Steaming, hot water rained down on him and Michael closed his eyes and ducked his head under the spray. He was almost done when the shower curtain was pulled back. Tom stood there, grinning and hard again. “Is this shower big enough for two?”
Michael nodded and stepped back, allowing space for Tom, as he felt stirrings in his own crotch. God, Tom was beautiful, even when he was all messy and his hair was sticking up at weird angles like that.
Tom got into the tub and didn’t even bother rinsing himself off; instead, he grabbed Michael and kissed him thoroughly. Not that he was complaining. He’d missed this so much that he was just happy to have Tom back.
His cock also seemed really happy to have Tom back, too. Michael could feel himself getting harder as Tom kissed a trail down his neck, down his chest, to a nipple, and he moaned softly. It echoed off the tiles and the small bathroom and Tom grinned up at him.
Michael decided his brain had to be malfunctioning, because Tom was taller than him. How was he grinning *up* at him? That was when he realized that Tom was on his knees. He was still placing open-mouthed kisses down his chest, to his belly and when he pushed his tongue into his belly button, Michael moaned, “Jesus, Tom.” He ran his hands through Tom’s wet hair, brushing it back from his face.
Tom smiled again and then started licking broad strokes with his tongue up and down his belly and thighs, carefully avoiding his insistent cock.
“Are you ready for this, Mike?” Tom asked as his mouth hovered right over the head of Michael’s dick.
He could only groan and nod in response. When Tom took the tip into his mouth, Michael whimpered and tipped his head back. Thank God he had the tiled wall to hold him up. The last time anyone had gone down on him without a condom was probably high school. And that was considerably less exciting than what Tom was doing now.
Tom’s tongue was like magic. It seemed to be everywhere all at once, licking and stroking, and it was too hot for words. There was a graze of teeth that made Michael buck and then Tom started sucking.
Michael squeezed his eyes shut and bit down on his lip to stop the loud yelling that was imminent. Spots swam before his eyes and this was absolutely nothing like when he’d jacked off in this exact spot the night before. He forced his eyes open and dared a look down, only to find Tom looking back up at him. Those liquid green eyes glimmered, filled with heat and passion and mischief – Michael moaned again.
“Tom,” he whispered when he’d remembered how to speak. “Gonna come.” It was a warning, because he didn’t know how far Tom wanted to go with the whole lack of condoms thing, but Tom didn’t stop. He seemed to move faster, bobbing his head and stroking his hand on Michael’s cock in a rhythm that just pushed him closer.
“Fuck,” he practically screamed as he came. He could feel Tom’s tongue at the head of his cock, tasting him, and he shuddered as his orgasm shot through him. “Tom, you’re going to kill me,” Michael said hoarsely.
Grinning, Tom finally backed off and sat back on his heels. The water was still beating down on them from the shower, and it was starting to cool a little. But Tom was still hard. His cock curled against his stomach and Michael stared at it. He was really going to do this. He wondered if he could talk them into moving back to the bed.
“I want…Tom? Can we move back to the bed? And I’ll…uh…return the favor.”
Tom groaned and nodded. He reached back with one hand and started fumbling with the shower knobs. Michael leaned over to help him, finally getting the water turned off and he slid the curtain open. They climbed out of the tub and Michael grabbed a couple of towels as Tom leaned in to kiss him.
Michael walked backwards through the door, to the bed and tumbled them both onto it, still kissing. He rolled them once, so he was on top and smiled down at Tom. They were still dripping wet – towels forgotten on the floor – but neither of them seemed to care.
Tom’s hard cock pressed against Michael’s stomach. “Please, Mike. I can’t wait,” he said as he arched up.
Michael grinned as he slid down Tom’s body. He ended up kneeling on the floor, between Tom’s knees. One hand he wrapped around Tom’s cock, the other, he used to prop himself up and get into position. He didn’t know why he was so nervous for this -- he’d given more blowjobs than he could remember.
But he was. He licked his lips and leaned in. The cock in his hand jumped as he breathed on it.
“Fuck, Mike. You’re such a tease.”
“Sorry,” he whispered and he took the head of Tom’s cock into his mouth. He figured out why he had been so nervous. He’d never done this without a condom – except for that once second when he was with Tom in New York and had forgotten. Maybe this was what he’d been dreaming of. He’d never wanted anything so badly. Taste burst across his tongue.
It was so good, so much *better* this way. Michael started moving in earnest, sucking and licking – and Tom’s sounds only encouraged him more. Little moans and breathless sobs, and Michael closed his eyes and moved his head faster.
“Mike,” Tom moaned as he rested his hands on the top of Michael’s head. “God, Mike. So good.”
Michael moaned loudly when Tom started to lift his hips to meet each of Michael’s movements. He absolutely loved it when Tom fucked his mouth. The rough slide of the cock in his mouth, the taste that was all over his tongue – he fucking loved this.
Tom was moaning steadily and grunting with every thrust. Michael was pretty sure he was close, but it wasn’t like he was going to stop, or pull away, so it didn’t matter if Tom didn’t warn him. He could feel the cock in his mouth swell a little and Tom stopped moving with one final push in as he finally climaxed. Come filled Michael’s mouth and he swallowed without even really thinking about it.
A little stunned, he pulled away and licked his lips. Tom’s taste was all over him. So much for the shower. But it was kind of nice. He could smell Tom, too. He closed his eyes and smiled.
Michael crawled up to the bed and slid himself into Tom’s arms. It was like he was waiting for him. It was really nice. So much better than all those nights alone – he had really missed this.
~*~
The ringing of the telephone woke Michael up. Sun streamed in the windows and Michael squinted into the light. He fumbled for the headset, and managed to pick the phone up after only a few rings.
“Hello?” He wondered what time it was and who would be calling him.
“Mike! Baby! I’m so glad you answered the phone. I didn’t wake you, did I?”
It was his agent. Figured. Not a whole lot of people knew where he was.
“Um, you did. But that’s okay. What’s up?”
“You got it! The WB part! They called a little while ago, and they’re faxing the contract over to me momentarily.” Mike heard the telltale sounds of a fax machine in the background. “That may be it right now! Are you ready for this, Mike?”
Michael was a little stunned. “Did they say anything else? Like, who else may have gotten the other lead?”
“Something about the guy you read with…do you know him, Mike? They were really impressed with the chemistry you guys had in the read through. Really impressed, Mike.”
“So, we both got it? I do know him. A little. We had dinner last night after the read-through. He’s a really nice guy.”
Shock. He couldn’t believe he’d gotten it. He couldn’t believe that they’d *both* gotten it.
“Mike, baby. I’m going to fax this over to your hotel. And have them bring it up to you. This looks like a mediocre deal, but it does allow for renegotiations if the series gets picked up. Call me later.”
“You got it, and thanks.”
“No, Mike, thank you!”
Michael hung up the phone and looked at Tom lying next to him. His eyes were open and he was smiling. “Hey, Tom.”
“Hey.”
“We seem to have gotten the parts. That was my agent. I bet you have a call from yours in your room.”
“That’s great!” He sat up and hugged Michael to him.
“But, that’s not really the best news of the morning,” he said, his voice muffled in Michael’s shoulder.
Michael looked really confused and pulled away. “What?”
“This,” Tom said, motioning between them. “Me and you? *This* makes me much happier.”
Michael grinned and kissed Tom lightly. Tom was right. A series was secondary to whatever he and Tom had started. It was like fate.
[ main l rps l fps ]
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