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Supposed To Be - Heart of Gold Part Two
Michael woke to the smell of eggs and toast and the faint sound of a shower. Tom’s side of the bed was mostly cold, but the linen still smelled of him. Michael took a deep breath, and sighed.
He twisted and sat on the edge of the bed, wincing slightly. He felt like he’d been run over. Right after he’d finished running a complete marathon. His muscles ached and his ass hurt. He ran a hand through his hair and stood, gingerly.
The shower was running, but he wasn’t ready to see Tom just yet. He had a whole day, plus another morning, and he was so used to being alone that all this time with someone else was making him edgy.
Michael put on his robe and his boxers from the night before and, sat down to read the newspaper. Sweet merciful coffee. He poured a steaming cup and sipped it as he read.
Completely engrossed in the paper, Michael didn’t hear the shower turn off or the light tread of Tom’s feet. He felt a hand softly shuffle through his hair and he couldn’t help leaning into it.
“Morning,” Tom said and leaned down to press a kiss to Michael’s lips. “Shower is free if you’re so inclined.” He was all fresh and clean, wearing just a towel as he rummaged through his duffel bag.
Watching him slip a pair of worn jeans on, Michael noticed the lack of underwear. Tom buttoned a white shirt down across his chest.
Michael swallowed roughly. It had to be illegal how gorgeous Tom was. He didn’t know how to deal with it. Or his reactions to it. Especially not his reactions to it.
“Good morning,” he managed. “I left you some coffee.” It had been a sacrifice, but he hoped that maybe Tom would order more. He got a grin for that.
Tom sat down, opposite Michael, and thumbed through the folded newspaper, settling on the comics.
Michael finished the article he was reading. Some other star about his age, and about his build and size had just won another part he’d been hoping for. It was ridiculous, and he pushed it out of his mind before moving away from the table and standing carefully. “A shower sounds amazing. I’ll be right back.”
Tom smiled at him and Michael headed to the bathroom. The domesticity was threatening to make his brain explode.
The bathroom was still steamy – the mirrors were fogged, the shower covered with cooling drops. The intimacy of the scene was not lost on Michael. He was just ignoring it, lest he go insane.
The hot water felt good all on his over-used muscles. He felt gross from the night before and the shower went a long way to making him feel human again. The water pelted down, soothing and rinsing everything away. Finally, he soaped a washcloth to clear the last vestiges of stickiness.
This showering thing had been a lot more fun when Tom had been the one doing the washing. Smiling slightly, vowing that his next shower would involve Tom somehow, he finished the rest of his cleaning in a hurry. A big fluffy towel awaited him as he stepped out of the tub.
He quickly dried himself off and then swiped the mirror clear with the towel. There were bruises on his hips that stood out against his pale skin, smudges of purple on his shoulders, that reminded him of how they’d gotten there. Smiling, he made his way into the other room.
He had to grin at the way Tom gaped at him as he bent over to get clean clothes his bag. When he was dressed, Tom licked his lips and reached out to pull Michael close.
“Hey,” he said.
“Hey.”
“So. What are your plans for the day?”
Tom shrugged. “You said something about the park and a club, didn’t you? I don’t have any work things scheduled. Today, I’m yours.”
“Are you?” The huskiness in his own voice surprised him.
“Yeah,” Tom whispered. He leaned in for a kiss and ran his hands down Michael’s back to his ass, squeezing gently.
Michael didn’t mean to wince, but he was still a little tender. “Ah…Uh, Tom?”
“What?” He pulled his hands away and stepped back.
Smiling a little sheepishly, Michael said, “Sorry. I’m just a little…uh…sore.”
“Shit!” Tom blushed furiously. “I’m sorry! Why didn’t you say anything? I didn’t mean to hurt you.”
“I know!” Michael took a step forward. “And it’s not like it hurt at the time. I loved it.”
“Yeah? You’re sure?”
“God, yes. And later, you can do it again.”
Tom grinned. “I’m probably going to need more practice on that other thing, too.”
“Oh?” Michael feigned innocence. “Whatever do you mean?”
Dropping to his knees, Tom tugged the buttons open on the jeans that Michael had just put on. Christ, he was almost fully hard already. This weekend was going to break him.
“Tom. Wait…condom,” Michael gasped.
He nodded and reached over to Michael’s bag to grab one of the foil packets. “You were right about these,” he said as he looked up.
Michael leaned against the closest wall and brushed his fingers through Tom’s hair. “What do you mean?”
Tom ripped the packet open with his teeth and grinned. “The taste *is* horrible.”
Laughing, Michael slid his fingers down to Tom’s chin. “You don’t have to do this. I mean…it’s not like I expect it, or anything.”
Tom just shook his head and rolled the condom onto Michael’s cock. He started slow, just like he had the day before, sucking gently on the head, before taking the shaft into his mouth.
Michael was almost prepared when Tom swallowed, but it still didn’t stop the moan and he couldn’t help that his fists clenched. It was still a little soon.
Fingers slid around his balls, slick with spit, and brushed across his hole. Oh, fuck. His hips bucked of their own accord and Tom pulled back, coughing. “Shit. Sorry, sorry,” Michael apologized.
Shaking his head again, Tom bent to take Michael’s cock back into his mouth. He was getting really good at this. Michael couldn’t believe how much of a natural Tom was. “Tom. That’s good. Cover your teeth with your lips and – oh, God. Like that.” He moaned again as Tom swallowed.
Tom encouraged Michael to move with his hands, pulling his hips and moaning deep in his throat as Michael filled his mouth, over and over. Michael couldn’t watch anymore. He squeezed his eyes shut and started to thrust.
He could feel Tom moaning as he did. The vibrations ran through him, igniting fireworks underneath his skin and behind his eyes. He tried to push away the thought that no one else had ever had made him feel this way, trying to focus on how good it felt. Suddenly, well-slicked fingers pushed inside him and he couldn’t hold back anymore. He cried out as he came, pressing Tom to him as he did.
They wound up back in the bed together. Michael was going to just blow Tom again, but then he decided to be creative.
There were a lot of rules that he hadn’t told Tom. Things that he didn’t bring up because he didn’t think they were important. Like, he didn’t ever rim any of his clients, and he wouldn’t let himself be tied up. He just didn’t trust anyone enough to do the latter, and the former just had never appealed to him. In any way.
But…just like with everything else lately, Tom was different, special. Michael knew he shouldn’t be doing this – there were health issues – but he wanted to. He flicked his tongue over Tom’s balls, down behind them and laved over his hole.
Tom whimpered and Michael made out a few curse words. He didn’t let that deter him, though. He held onto Tom’s hips and kept licking. Hands scrabbled in his hair and Tom’s words became barely coherent.
He liked making Tom this crazy. He thrashed on the bed, and Michael backed off so he could look up. “You have to hold still. Or I’m going to stop.” He licked his lips and Tom groaned.
“Jesus, Mike! That feels fucking amazing!”
“I know. But, if you hold still, I can do other things with my hands.” He stroked Tom’s cock once and smiled at the shudder it caused. Tom nodded and Michael bent down again. He licked across the hole again and started pushing inside.
“Fuck!”
Michael thrust his tongue in and out, the musky taste bursting across his tongue. He left one hand on Tom’s hip and slid the other one around to wrap around his cock. Pre-come slicked his way as he slowly matched the strokes on Tom’s cock with that of his tongue.
Tom whined and panted. His voice grew hoarse and Michael could tell that he was only holding back by the thinnest of margins. He twisted his hand and added a finger along with his tongue. Tom practically screamed.
He didn’t want to stop. He gripped Tom’s cock a little harder and stroked a little faster. Finally, Tom stiffened and stilled, shooting come all over his own stomach and Michael’s hand.
Michael slowed and then stopped, giving one last lick before snuggling next to Tom on the bed. Tom dozed a little and Michael slipped out of the bed and went to the bathroom to get a wet towel to clean Tom up. Looking in the mirror, Michael noticed a few stray drops that had made it into his hair. He cleaned himself up before heading back with the towel.
Tom was half dozing when Michael crawled in next to him. He slid the towel down his chest, cleaning him up quickly before tossing the towel to the side and pulling Tom back into his arms.
They might not make it to the park.
~*~
“The first time, I absolutely hated it. More than retail, more than anything. And I was sure that I was just as horrible at it, more so than I was at being a waiter.”
Tom had asked. And Michael found himself answering.
“But…apparently I was good at it.” Tom grinned and nodded. “Shut up. I’d never had sex with a man. Or given a blowjob. But…a friend at the time gave me some tips. He gave me my list of rules, I added a few, and…well, the rest is history.”
They were lying in the bed, facing each other on their sides. Tom’s fingers were tracing unknown patterns across Michael’s hip, but it was mostly just comforting, rather than arousing.
“If you hated it so much, why do you keep doing it?”
Michael shook his head. “I don’t know. It’s kind of my last resort, you know? I can’t fail at this, too.”
“Couldn’t you go home?”
“Yeah. But then I’d be a failure. I’ve wanted to be an actor for so long. I’ve worked so hard at it. I just have never gotten any of the good breaks. I was up for so many things, down to me and just one other guy every time, and every time, it falls through.”
Tom nodded.
“It’s so frustrating, and I know I’m good. I know I could do it if I could just get a shot.” He’d never expressed any of this to anyone before. No one knew of his fears and failures. There was never anyone close enough to him that he felt like he could trust. But, for some reason, he trusted Tom.
“I get frustrated with modeling, too. No one ever gives me the opportunity to prove I’m more than just a nice body.”
Michael laughed softly. “Maybe you should go into acting.”
“Right. Because it’s been so good to you.”
“I’ve done all kinds of plays in college and some that are so off Broadway they’re in New Jersey.” Michael smiled. “Besides…none of those other jobs pay anything remotely close to the kind of money I make doing this.”
Tom nodded and grinned. “I’ll bet.”
There was silence for a few seconds before Tom started talking again. “Maybe it isn’t your actual acting ability. Maybe it’s the audition process. I have this friend who always says that models have it easy because all we ever have to do is hand out head shots and look pretty.”
Michael nodded. “I do get really nervous. It’s just that I want it so bad.”
Sliding his fingers through Michael’s hair, Tom leaned forward to kiss him. “I believe in you,” he whispered before their lips met. Michael hugged Tom close, kissing him deeply. He really needed to hear that more often.
When he finally pulled away, Michael said, “I send a lot of it home for my mom and step-dad. She’s out of work, and they’re struggling. And they sent me through college and I just want to help them out when I can. And I can help so much more when I do this. At least I’m doing it for a reason.”
Tom pulled him close and they were silent for a few minutes.
Michael cleared his throat. “So, do you still want to go to the park?”
“What time is it, anyway?”
“I’m not sure. Probably about three?”
Tom shook his head. “We should go shopping instead. I want to get something to wear tonight to whatever club you take me to.”
Michael grinned wolfishly. “How about some leather pants?”
“That’s what I was thinking.”
“Not that you don’t look amazing in those jeans, or hell, nothing at all…but you’d look great in leather.”
“Okay. Shopping it is.”
Michael nodded his agreement. He had the perfect store in mind for Tom.
~*~
Michael stared at himself in the mirror. He hadn’t intended to buy anything for himself, or even try anything on. But Tom had suggested he ‘just try on one pair of leather pants.’ And then he’d looked at him with those big, green eyes and Michael just couldn’t say no.
He looked good, even to himself. He twisted his hips, to try to check out his ass, and had to admit that it looked good in the pants. And they were so soft! Michael let his fingers glide over them as he waited for Tom to get out of his dressing room.
The price tag scared him. He didn’t even want to look.
Tom slid the curtain back of his own dressing room and let out a whistle. Michael refused to blush.
“Your ass looks really good in those,” Tom whispered when he got closer.
Michael didn’t know what to say to that.
“But compared to yours? Jesus, Tom. How often do you work out?” Michael reached out to touch, but immediately yanked his hand away when he remembered where they were. Later, he reassured himself.
Tom grinned. “Usually every day that I don’t have a shoot scheduled. But I’m on vacation.”
Michael grinned back and looked back at the mirror. They looked really good together. Now, they needed shirts.
~*~
Michael scowled at the shirts and slid the hangers forcefully on the rack. He hated all of these. He was kind of pissed at Tom. He’d whipped out his credit card and paid for the leather pants without even asking. It wasn’t like Michael didn’t make enough money to pay for things.
Besides, he’d only had to give a blowjob or two to pay for them. And wasn’t that a sick thought? Breaking down how much things cost, by the amount of cock he would have to suck?
It was just another one of the constant reminders Michael had about who he was and what he did.
He could feel Tom standing behind him. Hot breath across his ear as Tom whispered, “You’d look amazing in this.” He held up a button down, black shirt and shook it a little.
Michael squinted at it and took it from him. Moving over to the mirror and holding it up to his chest, he nodded. “Okay. This works. What did you find for yourself?”
Tom held up his own shirt – an emerald green one that would match his eyes perfectly. Michael nodded, and they moved to the counter.
He wasn’t going to let Tom pay for the shirt too. He went first, and pulled out his wallet and tried to pay. But the cashier got one look at Tom and practically started drooling. She took the credit card he offered, all with a smile, and didn’t even acknowledge that Michael was standing there.
This was unacceptable. Michael was furious.
He gritted his teeth and took the bag that Tom offered him and stalked out of the store. He slid his sunglasses on when he was outside and waited a few seconds for Tom, who was still flirting shamelessly with the cashier, to catch up.
Not that Michael was jealous.
When Tom finally joined him, he asked innocently, “Where to now?”
“Up to you, Tom.” Michael tried to keep the anger out of his voice. He should be thankful that Tom bought him things, but he just wasn’t. His stupid pride got in the way.
Tom looked at Michael for a second, then his watch. “Well, it’s about six. We should eat and then head back to the hotel to change.”
Michael nodded and crossed his arms.
“Where do you want to eat?”
“Wherever,” Michael said, trying not to be short. “I’m good with just about anything.”
Tom nodded and headed down the street. Michael shook his head. Tom had no idea what was going on. He moved to follow Tom, silently berating himself for even giving a shit. He’d gotten too comfortable, too close, and now it just made him aware of everything he could never have. He was an idiot.
The bags in his hand weighed heavily. It was just a pair of pants and a shirt. And it wasn’t like Tom couldn’t afford it.
Neither of them had said anything for a while, and Tom finally turned to Michael and asked, “Okay. What’d I do this time?”
Michael looked up, startled. Was he that transparent? He shook his head and watched as Tom rolled his eyes. Smiling halfheartedly, he tried to reassure Tom. After all, that was his job. “Everything is good, Tom. I’ve got new clothes, we’re going to eat and then we’re going to a club. What more could I want?”
He could practically *feel* Tom’s voice when he said, “Me to fuck you? I’m tempted to just drag you back to the hotel and forget about tonight.”
“If that’s what you want…” It was all up to Tom.
Tom shook his head. He glanced around and then pulled Michael into the alley way and close to him. “Listen. I know I’m paying you, but it can be about you too. Can we just pretend that this isn’t completely fucked? You don’t have to keep deferring to me to make all the decisions.”
Michael smiled faintly. “But, Tom. This weekend is all about what you want. I’m just along for the ride.”
“Pun intended?” Tom smirked.
At least that pulled a genuine smile from Michael. He told himself to stop being so sensitive.
Pulling away, Tom cocked his head and looked up at a street sign. “Come on. We’re almost there. Dinner is going to be at this great little place I know.”
~*~
When they finally made it back to the hotel room, Michael was exhausted. But it wasn’t like he could complain or take the night off. He smiled at Tom and picked up his new clothes to take them into the bathroom to change, but paused when he realized how ridiculous that was and had to laugh at himself.
Tom seemed to be struggling. Chuckling, Michael smoothed down his shirt and walked over to where the other man was trying to get his pants to button around his cock. Tom looked up a little helplessly at him and Michael had to grin at the woebegone expression that greeted him.
“Want some help with that?”
Grateful, Tom nodded and Michael dropped to his knees. This probably wasn’t what Tom meant. He wasn’t thinking when he bent his head and swept his tongue across the head.
There was a strangled groan above him and Michael realized what he’d just done as the flavor of the pre-come coated his tongue. “Fuck,” he said as he looked up.
Tom’s eyes were closed and hands clenched into fists at his side. “Michael,” he whispered. “Condom. Shit.”
“It’s okay. Here.” Michael pulled a condom out of his pocket and ripped it open with his teeth before rolling it onto the cock in front of him. He couldn’t believe he’d forgotten. He’d never tasted another guy’s come before.
Michael closed his eyes and took a deep breath before continuing. He took Tom’s cock into his mouth and sucked gently. Fingers wound into his hair and Michael pushed into them. Maybe he was punishing himself for the little slip up. Maybe he just wanted Tom to fuck his mouth.
It didn’t matter.
Tom got the hint. He arched his hips, pushing his cock across Michael’s lips, sliding easily against his tongue. He was really beginning to enjoy blowing Tom. Every time it was different. And he didn’t even seem to mind the taste of the condoms anymore.
But he still couldn’t believe his fuck up. After his whole speech to Tom the day before about always using condoms, even wearing one when he was getting blown. It was careless and stupid.
The fingers in his hair wound tighter, bringing him back to the current activities. Tom was moaning above him and whispering nonsense words. Michael looked up as he moved his tongue. He met Tom’s eyes, and when he felt his cock throb, a shock ran through him. Tom threw back his head and cried out Michael’s name loudly.
Michael drew back, letting Tom slip out of his mouth. He took the condom off and stood, walking to the bathroom to get rid of it.
When he got back to the living room, Tom had already tucked himself into the leather pants, and was sitting on the couch. He smiled as he stood, moving to meet Michael in the front of the room. He wrapped his arms around him and pulled him in for a hug.
“Thank you. And don’t worry about the other thing. I promise its okay.”
Michael nodded. He wasn’t *that* worried about it necessarily, he was just still weirded out because he hadn’t been thinking. And that was bad.
~*~
They made it out of the hotel by ten. Tom had called a cab and sat so close to Michael that he could feel his heartbeat. Plus, there was hand holding. Michael was slowly forgetting that this wasn’t a date.
Tom squeezed his hand and Michael looked at him, smiling. “This weekend has been great,” Tom whispered.
Michael grinned. It had been. Even if he didn’t want to admit it to himself, even if he knew that all this weekend did was remind him of what he was and what he couldn’t have, it had still been fun. “It has. And there’s more to come.”
Tom nodded and, with a secretive little smile murmured, “Pun intended?”
Michael rolled his eyes and smiled. “You’re incorrigible.”
The cab pulled up to the club and Tom paid the driver. He grabbed Michael’s hand again as the walked up to the club. Music could be heard, even outside. Its thudding, crazy beat surrounded them as they moved closer in line. It was finally their turn and the bouncer looked at their IDs and waved them in. There was a cover inside, which Tom paid. Again. Michael tried not to let it bother him.
The lights flashed around the room; rays of splashed color and the strobe light, contributing to the experience. The cloud of smoke from all of the smokers hung inside, and there must have been a fog machine somewhere, because, not only was the ceiling covered, but wisps of it wound through their legs. Michael looked over at Tom and grinned.
Michael wasn’t much of a drinker. He couldn’t afford to be. It wasn’t the money; it was the loss of control. He needed to be in control at all times. Oh, sure, he’d have a beer or two, but he’d seen what could happen to guys that got carried away with alcohol. Sometimes they would forget important things, like getting paid or using condoms. It always ended badly.
Besides, it wasn’t like he had any shame. There wasn’t much he wouldn’t do, even completely sober. Why would he need alcohol?
Tom maneuvered them over to the bar and ordered a beer. He looked at Michael for his drink choice. “I’ll have a bottle of water.” He didn’t want to lose control tonight. He had plans for later. Tom paid again, and Michael barely batted an eye. He must be getting used to it.
They leaned against the bar, sipping their drinks, watching the crowd of dancing people. Someone jostled Tom and he spilled some of his drink. Michael laughed and poked Tom in the side. “Graceful!” he tried to yell over the music.
“Shut up!” Tom grinned as he yelled back.
“Dance?” Michael shouted and pulled on Tom’s hand. Tom gulped his drink down and set his ice-filled glass on the bar before allowing Michael to pull him to the dance floor. The crowd surrounded them, as the lights pulsed and the music pounded.
Tom held onto Michael’s hips, crowding close and rubbing against him as they moved. A thrill shot through Michael. Tom felt amazing behind him. The strobe light flashed as Tom leaned down. Michael couldn’t make out what he was saying, but just nodded and let Tom guide him. Dancing had never been this easy. He’d always felt a little self-conscious, like people were staring at him. But with Tom, none of that mattered.
All the rules were thrown out the window with Tom.
~*~
Hot, sweaty and physically exhausted, Michael finally dragged Tom off the dance floor. He couldn’t seem to keep his hands off of him, but it wasn’t like Tom minded; he was just as touchy-feely. Leaning close, Michael shouted near Tom’s ear, “I’ll be right back. I have to piss.”
Tom nodded and turned towards the bartender to order another drink.
Michael was smiling as he washed his hands and looked at himself in the mirror. His face was flushed and his eyes shone. He looked happy. He ignored the voice inside himself that kept reminding him that this would be over soon.
Tomorrow, Tom was going to leave New York, and go back to wherever he usually lived and Michael was going to go back to his tiny little apartment that he shared with someone he didn’t even like…and they were never going to see each other again. It wasn’t a date; it wasn’t a relationship. It was a job. God, Michael hated that voice. It needed to shut the hell up. He had a few hours left in which he could pretend.
Michael made his way back out to the bar where he’d left Tom. He was standing there, looking fucking amazing, and grinning as he saw Michael approach.
“Can we go find a spot to sit down? I need to rest after all that dancing,” Tom said when Michael got close enough. Michael nodded and took Tom’s hand, pulling him to one of the side rooms where the music wasn’t quite as loud. There was a lot more seating in this room, and its own bar. A couple that was sitting on one of the smaller couches got up, presumably to go to the dance floor, leaving a space free for Michael and Tom.
Tom sat down and pulled Michael into his lap. He nuzzled at Michael’s neck and then captured his mouth for a kiss. They were making out in earnest, and Michael really didn’t do this kind of thing. For all of his lack of shame, he still didn’t want to do this in front of other people. Especially with Tom. Because, while it was still a job, there was still a part of him that wanted this to stay private.
Michael pulled away, panting, smiling gently. “Maybe we should go…”
Tom nodded. Michael slid out of his lap, standing up and straightening his shirt. He reached his hand out to Tom, pulling him up. Tom kissed him hungrily before pulling away and moving to go. When they were almost out of the room, a group of guys came in and headed to the bar. Michael didn’t pay much attention to them until Tom slowed and started talking to them.
“This is Michael. Michael, this is Scott, Steve, Bryce and Logan. They’re all models with me.”
Michael smiled, way too brightly, and stuck his hand out to shake everyone’s hand. The blonde haired guy looked familiar, but Michael wasn’t sure.
“Nice to meet you,” everyone said, except the blonde guy. He said, “Nice to see you again.” Fuck. Michael smiled anyway.
The other guys were talking to Tom, and Steve was standing next to Michael. “I live here in the city.”
Michael nodded.
“Here’s my card. Can I call you soon?”
Taking the card with trembling fingers, Michael smiled again and nodded. Steve joined the conversation with Tom and the rest of his friends and Michael took a step back. He was shaking. God. Everything had been great, and now, he just felt like a complete whore.
Before Michael could just get the hell out of there, Tom turned to find him. He must have noticed the look on his face, because he turned from his friends and asked, “Mike. What’s wrong?”
Michael just shook his head. He needed to get out of there.
Tom stepped away from his friends, calling, “I’ll see you later, guys. I have to go.”
Michael kept walking. He pushed through the crowd, trying not to hear Tom calling his name. When he finally made it outside, he took in deep breaths of air.
He’d let himself forget again.
A strong arm went around his shoulders and pulled him close. “What happened? Are you okay?”
Michael shook his head. He handed Tom the card that his friend Steve had given him. He didn’t say a word. He had no idea what to say.
Tom’s eyes flashed in anger and he turned to go. “I’ll take care of this.”
“No. Tom.” Michael grabbed his arm. “Listen. It’s okay, he’s right. That’s what I do. I just forgot.”
He stopped short. “He still had no right to treat you that way.”
Michael shook his head. He turned and wrapped his arms around himself. “It’s okay, Tom. Let’s just go.”
Tom nodded, but Michael could tell that he wanted to say more. But there was nothing else to say. Steve wasn’t wrong to ask Michael to let him call; it was actually kind of polite of him. But the thing was, tonight, at least, he was Tom’s. And he didn’t want to think about anyone else. He shook his head as a cab stopped. Tom pushed him inside and got in beside him. He gave the name of the hotel and address before settling back next to Michael.
Grabbing his hand and pressing close, Tom whispered, “Are you sure that you’re okay?”
Michael nodded and tried to smile. Leaning his head on Tom’s shoulder, he waited for the cab to finally get through the traffic and back to their hotel. Tom’s hotel. God, sometimes he was stupid.
The rest of the ride was mostly silent. The driver’s radio spewed half sentences, garbled beyond anything Michael could understand. As they neared their destination, Tom squeezed his hand.
When they arrived, Tom paid the driver, and they headed up to Tom’s room. They were barely in the door before hands pulled Michael close. Long body pressed against him, and it felt really good against him, comforting.
Tom leaned down for a kiss, closing the small difference in their heights easily, and kissed Michael thoroughly. A slow, deep kiss that forced the tremble back into Michael’s knees, but this time for a much more pleasant reason.
God, he loved kissing Tom. He loved the way he asked for permission inside with a slowly prodding tongue, the way he licked and sucked on his bottom lip, and the way he urged Michael’s tongue into his own mouth. It was like he’d taken courses in it, studied for years and gotten straight A’s on every exam. When Tom finally pulled away, he whispered, “Come on,” and pulled Michael towards the bathroom. “We smell. Shower, then bed.”
Michael nodded, and followed easily at Tom’s tug. He took a couple of deep breaths, trying to remind himself he was working and had a job to do.
Once they had gotten to the bathroom, Tom pushed him against the door and started to unbutton Michael’s shirt.
“I can do this,” Michael said and tried to take over.
“No. I want to. Now, move your hands and let me.” He pinned Michael with a hand on his shoulder.
“Okay.” He stood there, almost patiently, and let Tom push the buttons through their holes. When he got about halfway down, Tom leaned over and started licking. Soft, openmouthed trail from sternum to his navel, and all Michael could do was stand there and take it.
Straining against the hand, Michael watched as Tom’s tongue darted out and continued to taste him. He saw Tom’s lips curve into a smile as he reached the button on Michael’s leather pants. Finally looking up, Tom met his eyes and bit gently at the soft spot he found there.
Michael jerked a little bit and had to grin at the look on Tom’s face. Nimble fingers tugged at the buttons of his pants, and soon enough, they were opened, and Michael breathed a sound of relief. Leather had no give, and ever since Tom had started kissing him, the pressure had been building.
It didn’t look like release was soon in coming, though. Tom’s hands skimmed down the fabric, very carefully avoiding the fact that Michael’s cock was demanding attention. Not like it had any rights to demand such a thing. He told himself to quit expecting things.
Tom finished undressing him, pulling off Michael’s shoes and socks and, when Michael was completely naked, stood, pulling him into another searing kiss. Michael was left gasping and still amazingly hard when Tom pulled away.
“Wait,” Tom said, his voice causing Michael to shiver. Jesus. This was crazy.
He watched as Tom stripped himself quickly and then adjusted the water. When he stood up, he smiled and said, “Get in.”
Michael did, and closed his eyes against the water. It rained down on him as he felt Tom get into the tub and nudge him forward. Content to let Tom call the shots, Michael slid forward a little and looked at Tom expectantly. “What do you want me to do?”
Tom shook his head. “Nothing. I want you to stand there. Tonight is all about you.”
Shaking his head, Michael started to sputter. “No, Tom. This is about you, and what you want.”
“This is it. I want for you to stand there. And just let me do whatever.”
“Okay. This is a little strange, Tom.”
Grinning as he soaped up a washcloth, Tom shrugged. And then he started in on Michael’s chest. He started slowly, sliding the soapy cloth across a shoulder and all the way down to a hip.
Michael had no idea how to deal with this. Letting the client pleasure him was not in any kind of hooker handbook. Tom didn’t seem to think any of the rules applied to him anyway, clearly evidenced by the fact that while he was ostensibly washing Michael, one soapy hand was wrapped around Michael’s cock, stroking entirely too gently to do anything but make him insane.
“Tom,” Michael whispered. “Harder. Let me come?”
Laughing a little evilly, Tom leaned in close, his chest slipping against Michael’s as he whispered, “Sorry. Not yet.” He drew his hand away and preceded to wash every single body part he could. There was soap in places that Michael didn’t even remember having.
A slick arm slid around him, to his back and lower. When the cloth slipped into the crack of his ass, Michael couldn’t help the moaning. “If you like that, just wait until you see what else I have planned.”
God. Michael could barely stand. He had no idea how he was going to survive the rest of the night.
~*~
The shower was torture. Complete and utter torture. Thankfully, Tom rinsed him off and led him to the king size bed, but was still torturing him with his mouth. It had started out as kissing -- slow, deep kisses that turned into gentle biting and nibbling along Michael’s jaw. Openmouthed kisses down his neck, across his chest and to a nipple.
Michael couldn’t help the noise he made and the arching of his body when Tom bit down. “Tom,” he moaned and ran his fingers through the dark hair as he watched. God, Tom was beautiful. Tom looked up, grinning, and moved lower. His fingers followed his mouth’s path, sliding in the trails made by his tongue, twisting his nipple when he finally let go with his teeth.
“Fuck, Tom. You’re killing me.” Michael barely recognized his own voice, raspy, so full of need.
A low chuckle from Tom and then he finally closed his mouth around the head of Michael’s cock. He almost lost it at that second. “No…Tom. God, you can’t. Need condoms.”
But Tom either didn’t hear or didn’t care, because he didn’t stop right away. Michael wound his fingers in Tom’s hair and tugged as hard as he could. “Sorry,” Tom said when he finally pulled off.
Michael was panting. It had taken most of his control to stop Tom. He’d never forgive himself if he ever hurt Tom in anyway. He’d been clean at his last blood test, but the warnings they always gave frightened the bejesus out of him.
Tom went back to his torture. He painted broad strokes with his tongue down his thighs, down to his balls. Oh, shit. If Tom went there, Michael didn’t know what he’d do. No one had ever done that before. “Tom…” His voice was almost gone.
“Shh, Mike. I want to.”
He choked back a sob as Tom’s relentless tongue slid farther down, across his hole. Jesus Christ. It was no wonder that Tom had gone crazy when he’d done this to him
Tom’s hands pushed on his thighs, spreading him open so he could get farther inside, closer, more. Michael forgot to think about how dirty this was, or how much he shouldn’t be doing it; it felt too good.
He needed to come. His cock was so hard it was almost painful. Tom’s tongue pushed into him. God, he was going to kill him. At least it would be a sweet death.
Michael had never had anyone worship his body like this. He’d never felt so cherished, so cared for, and he had no idea how to deal with it.
Again and again, Tom’s tongue swept across his hole, then thrusting inside, just as his hand finally wrapped his cock and started to stroke.
Shaking, Michael choked out Tom’s name as he came. Orgasm ripped through him and he arched towards the torture, even as he wanted to pull away. Come splattered across his chest and Tom finally let go of his cock. Slick fingers pushed inside him and before he could catch his breath, Tom was sliding his cock inside Michael’s ass.
Tom stretched out on top of him, his body covering Michael’s, braced up on his knuckles as he started to thrust. So deep and slow that Michael could feel it everywhere. Tom grunted softly as he moved, whispering nonsense words that could have been his name.
It was entirely too soon for Michael to get hard, but Tom shifted and each thrust brushed across his prostate and he whimpered as he felt his cock start to fill again.
“Beautiful,” Tom murmured. “Fucking beautiful. Feels so good. Love fucking you.”
Michael moaned. He couldn’t form words anymore. He didn’t know what to think – Tom had called him beautiful – so he didn’t try to think. Tom’s hand wrapped around his cock again, slick with Michael’s come, and started to jack him off in time to the thrusts into his ass. Too much sensation, too fucking amazing and Michael cried out as he got close.
“Fuck, Mike. Gonna come. Are you going to come again for me?”
Michael shook his head. But he lied, because he was. He cried out as his cock twitched and he came again, too soon, too much. Tom sunk in one final time, whispering words into Michael’s ear as he came.
The only noise in the room was their panting as they tried to catch their breaths. Tom slid out of Michael and shifted to the side. Michael wasn’t really paying attention to what Tom was doing; he was still reeling over what Tom had said as he’d come. He pushed the thoughts away. It wasn’t the first time a guy had professed love for him in the heat of the moment.
But it felt different.
Tom snuggled in behind him, wrapping his arms around Michael and tucking his head into a shoulder. Michael wasn’t prepared for it when Tom said it again. “Love you, Mike. Good night.”
Besides a family member, no one had said that and meant it for as long as he could remember. It felt like a hand gripping his heart when he realized the implications. Tom couldn’t love him. He wasn’t beautiful, he wasn’t special. He was a *prostitute* and when Tom finally faced what that meant, then there was no way it could be true. Nobody could love him. Nobody should.
Michael waited until he heard Tom’s breathing even out. And then he waited a little more. He had to be sure. Slipping out of Tom’s arms was one of the hardest things he’d ever had to do. The hand was in his chest again as he moved silently through the suite, gathering his clothes and things strewn throughout.
Quietly, he stepped into the bathroom and washed himself before dressing. He took a deep breath as he left the bathroom and made his way back to the bedroom. One last look at Tom, sleeping in that giant bed alone.
Michael blinked a few times and then dug through his bag. He pulled the money that Tom had paid him from a pocket inside and dropped it onto the sheets next to Tom. He searched for the notepad that hotels always left next to every phone, scribbled a short note and left it with the money.
Finally, Michael slung his bag over his shoulder and picked up his shoes. He padded out of the room, letting the door close silently behind him.
If he didn’t leave now, he never would.
~*~
Tom was slow to come awake. The activity of the night before had worn him out. He smiled and reached out, expecting Michael to be there. Instead, there was only an empty bed. He opened his eyes and saw only a bunch of bills and a small piece of paper.
“Mike? Are you there?” Tom called out for Michael as he got out of bed. There was no answer. His voice echoed in the empty suite. “Mike?” He sat back down on the other side of the bed and stared at what was next to him.
He picked up the pile of bills and counted it. It was exactly what he’d paid Michael. And the note, he read with shaking hands. “I love you, too. I’m sorry.”
Tom let the paper slip from his fingers. He grabbed the phone and dialed quickly, but of course, he only got Michael’s voice mail.
“I don’t understand, Mike. I want to help. I care a lot about you. You didn’t have to leave. I’m sorry if I did something wrong. I thought it was all okay. I love you. Please call me back.”
Tom stared at the phone before hanging it up.
It didn’t ring until just before Tom was leaving. He dropped his bags and ran across the room. But it was just the front desk, checking to see if he needed a bellman to check out. Tom whispered no into the phone and shook his head sadly as he set the headpiece back into the cradle.
He picked up the phone one last time and dialed Michael’s number again.
“I guess you’re not calling me back, Mike. I’m really sorry. For everything. I didn’t mean to do whatever it was that made you leave. If you want to get in touch with me, here’s my home number and my cell. Just in case.” He rattled off the numbers from memory before taking a deep breath and saying, “I love you.”
It was time to check out. Mike wasn’t calling back. Tom took a deep breath and picked up his bags again. One last look at the empty room and he let the door close behind him.
If he didn’t leave now, he never would.
~*~
Michael listened to the message over and over. It was all he could do to not call Tom back. He couldn’t. He shouldn’t. He pressed the seven button, erasing the message, and then tossed his cell phone to the floor.
Tom couldn’t love him and the best thing for them both was to just go on with their lives and forget everything. It was better that way.
[ main l rps l fps ]
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